That’s it. School’s out. Case closed.
Birthers, you win.
Who knew that the GOP presidential candidate and others who have been questioning President Barack Obama’s legitimacy were right all along?
The birthers who’ve sought to de-legitimize Obama by insisting he wasn’t born in America – and thus was not eligible to serve as president – were onto something.
Expect Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell to request another congressional inquiry. Having failed in his avowed and voiced aim to ensure that Obama was a one-term president, McConnell now might seek mulligans on both the 2008 and 2012 presidential elections. Expect Fox News to interrupt its regularly scheduled bashing of the president with a new line of attack.
The birther brigade will be better-armed this time. I was a birther refuter until discovering irrefutable evidence that the dude who’s been occupying the White House since 2009 is from someplace besides America. I saw the light almost as soon as the lights went down in the theater showing “Southside With You,” a cinematic account of Michelle Robinson’s and Barack Obama’s first date.
Did homeslice show up for their date reading a Quran and wearing a hijab?
More telling than that: He showed up for his first date wearing sneakers.
There isn’t a brother on earth – and certainly not a native-born American one – over the age of 12 who would show up on a first date wearing sneakers. Shucks, even 12-year-old boys know that on a first date, you put your best food forward – and that foot is seldom shod in sneakers. Only if playing basketball or tennis was in the plans could he have pulled off putting on sneakers for an inaugural night out.
There isn’t a brother on earth – and certainly not a native-born American one – over the age of 12 who would show up on a first date wearing sneakers.
Alas, athletics weren’t on the agenda.
The Barack O of the movie wasn’t wearing Air Jordans or anything that would’ve given him style credibility, either, even though those would’ve been inappropriate for a first date. I asked Chris Bell, a Charlotte clothier and clotheshorse who used to live in Durham, how should a man decide what to wear on a date.
“You follow the woman,” he said. “It’s that simple.” Bell said the movie director may have taken creative license and used the tennis shoes as a metaphor to show that appearance and material assets weren’t important to Obama. “From the previews, he looks more preppy than most brothers,” Bell said.
He’d have been preppy to the bone if he’d finished off the outfit he wore in the movie with some Weejuns or even boat shoes – anything but sneakers.
The movie opens with Robinson meticulously putting herself together for her date in a silk blouse, linen skirt and hose. She looks ravishing. He looks like he’d been doing what the movie depicted him as doing – sitting reading a book and smoking a cigarette with his sleeves rolled up when he appears to remember, “Oh, I’ve got a date tonight.”
The Obamas’ first date in real life was to see the Spike Lee movie “Do The Right Thing” in Chicago on its opening night in 1989. My buddy and fellow Post-Tribune reporter Larry Muhammed and I went to see it together in Chicago on opening night, too, so I’ve always wondered if we were at the same theater at the same time as the future first couple.
Could the future president have been the yapping dude sitting behind us and hitting me in the head with Raisinets when I tried to shush him?
Movies, we know, take artistic license and are not presumed to be documentaries. I think the Obamas are the most stylish First Couple since the Kennedys, so it’s conceivable that the movie’s writer dressed him down merely, as Bell also theorized, to highlight the contrast between meticulous Michelle and bummy Barack. Or maybe she, as have so many other women with their men, taught him how to dress up like an adult.
If ‘Southside With You’ were a documentary, there might also be some question of where Michelle’s people are from.
If “Southside With You” were a documentary, there might also be some question of where Michelle’s people are from.
When Obama shows up at her house – late: another no-no for a first date – she emerges from around the side of the house, hops in the car and they ride away. Red alert: there is not an old-school black daddy in America worth his Al Green album collection – and we all have an Al Green album collection – who would allow his daughter to go on a first date with some cat who shows up and doesn’t come into the house to meet her folks.
That’s especially true when Pops has asked her – as the father in the movie did – the name of her suitor and, after hearing it, replies, “Barack O’who?”
In real life, Michelle’s daddy would’ve said something along the lines of, “You better tell that dude with the funny name to come in here and introduce himself like he’s got good sense before I have to go out there and hurt him.”
So fellas, let this be a lesson to you. Had Obama on their first date worn an appropriate shoe – Bell suggested Stacy Adams or penny loafers – he might’ve had some luck with Michelle and, who knows, made something of himself.