Troubled life, violent death

Slaying victim's parents balanced nurturing, distance

Josh Bailey just wanted to be normal.

The 20-year-old from Chapel Hill liked to hang out, party, listen to country music. He wanted more than anything to be part of a group. But Josh suffered from manic depression and post traumatic stress disorder. He had a learning disability and attention problems. He grappled with drugs and drink.

"He never met a stranger and he had no fear," said his mother Julie Bailey. "We worried about him. He was so naive."

On July 29, police think, Josh was abducted by acquaintances he thought were friends; he was shot in the head and buried in a shallow grave. Later his body was wrapped in plastic sheeting and moved to a more remote location near Jordan Lake. On Tuesday, a grand jury indicted nine people in the case.

Josh's parents, Julie and Steve Bailey, said in their first interview about the case that they have been stung by online criticism that they didn't do enough to protect their son or that they didn't report him missing for a month, which is not true.

The Baileys were torn between wanting to keep tabs on their son and giving him freedom to blossom. They worried about Josh but also felt that he was trying to get his act together. After a long stretch of sobriety, he'd fallen off the wagon, but he was looking into rehab programs.

He'd talked to them about moving back home, but his grandparents were staying with the Baileys while Julie's mother went through late-stage cancer treatments. Instead, he bunked with friends.

They had hashed out an agreement that Josh would stay in touch with them -- they wouldn't call the police unless he didn't call or visit for two weeks.

The last time the Baileys saw Josh, on July 27, he'd stopped by one of the buildings Steve Bailey manages to say hello and bum a few bucks off his dad. He told them he loved them and flashed his toothy smile.

They never saw him again.

Cruelty in life

Josh Bailey's life ended with cruelty. It began that way, too.

"There was violence and a great deal of neglect in his birth home," said Julie Bailey.

By the time Julie and Steve Bailey adopted Josh and his two younger brothers, Josh was 8. He and his brothers had lived in nine different foster homes.

The Baileys created a new life for their boys. Twelve years of photos document fishing and whitewater rafting trips, spins on a merry-go-round, family celebrations, Josh's graduation from Pace Academy. Josh and his mother were addicted to junk television. He and his father shared a passion for rock climbing. He hoped to be a chef.

But Josh continued to struggle.

Because of his mental illness and learning disability, he trusted people too easily, his parents said. He didn't understand when they bullied or took advantage of him.

It bothered the Baileys that a Silver Alert issued after his disappearance led some people to assume that Josh was so mentally disabled that he couldn't function in society. Also, local blogs suggested that Josh was a party animal who'd lived a risky life and finally got caught.

The truth, the Baileys said, lies somewhere between.

After graduating from Pace, Josh was dropped from Steve Bailey's insurance because he was no longer in school. He wouldn't have qualified for Social Security until he turned 24. And the group homes he visited were also home to people with more severe mental illnesses, some of them elderly and infirm.

"There is just so little out there for kids with mental illness who are 18 to 24," said Julie Bailey, who works as a parent educator for the Mental Health Association in Orange County. "This is such a fragile population, but they are forgotten."