Father-daughter dances make memories

RALEIGH -- Joel Wiggins saw the joy on his daughters' faces at the annual daddy-daughter dances he'd taken them to at a city gym.

Every little girl should have that experience, he thought. And, ever the entrepreneur, Wiggins saw potential, too.

So, 10 days after last year's dance, Wiggins, his wife and friends put on their own dance for dads and their daughters at the Raleigh-Durham International Airport's General Aviation Terminal.

More than 200 attended, including 50 girls who didn't have fathers in their lives. The Wigginses grouped these girls with volunteer dads at the dance.

This year, with months instead of days to organize, they hope even more will come to the second Triangle Area Father-Daughter Dance. It will be held Feb. 7 at Marbles Kids Museum in Raleigh.

"I saw the need," said Joel (pronounced Joe El) Wiggins, 37. "I saw the experience of the little girls, their faces. ... I want every little girl to get what my daughters are getting from me. I think they're entitled to that."

The dance is one of at least three public dances for fathers and their daughters in the Triangle, all timed close to Valentine's Day.

Cary and Raleigh both host wildly popular dances that typically sell out weeks before the date. Many dads come dressed in tuxedos, with daughters on their arm sporting tiaras and princess dresses.

Both the Raleigh and Cary dances started in the last decade. Often, organizers say, they have to turn dad-daughter duos away because there's no room.

The Raleigh dance can accommodate 200 people. The Cary dance has room for 250.

"There's just tons of interest," said Cindy Williams, director of the Laurel Hills Community Center, site of the Raleigh dance. "I don't think you can saturate the market with that type of event."

Wiggins says he wants much more than the stereotypical father-daughter relationship with his girls. More than pep talks during family meals or quick exchanges while watching a football game.

He wants to take them out, listen to them, focus on them.

In a fatherly way, Wiggins asks his girls, Reagan and Christina, ages 5 and 6, out on "dates." He has taken the two on Caribbean cruises and a weekend at a Cary hotel, all without Mom. He spends special time with them regularly.

"It's awesome," said their mother, Katrina Wiggins. "They have the kind of relationship where I am watching them interact, and I'm in tears."

Joel Wiggins jokes it's all for selfish reasons. He wants them to know exactly how a man should treat and listen to a woman. That way he won't have any sleepless nights in the future because he's worried about the guys they're dating.

Serendipity, plus $5K

Last year's dance was organized in 10 days, but it all fell into place.

An acquaintance of Joel Wiggins was organizing an event at the airport, but it wasn't going well. She agreed to let the Wigginses take it over and turn it into a father-daughter dance. Friends offered to volunteer. And the Wigginses poured about $5,000 of their own money into the event to buy dresses and accessories for the girls without fathers.

Then, when the 50 girls without active fathers in their lives pulled up to the venue, they stepped onto a red carpet. A photographer snapped their pictures.

"They felt like movie stars," Katrina Wiggins said. "Just that experience of seeing those girls off the bus, that made it all worthwhile."

The couple, who once owned car dealerships in Pennsylvania and Madison, N.C., now run a custom clothing company and a business selling print and promotional items. Men Standing in the Gap, a men's group led by Joel Wiggins, is sponsoring this year's dance.

The Wigginses hope to eventually take the dance to other cities, including Atlanta, Charlotte and Washington, D.C. They hope to break even on the Raleigh dance in February, but if they make any money, it will go toward starting up the dance in other towns.

Joel Wiggins said that dads can spend a lot of time at the office, making money to support their family. But, in the long run, what will really matter most to their kids is the time spent with them.