Parents can help child adjust to middle school

Parents with a child headed to middle school may be in for an emotional ride with more twists and turns than Carowinds' "Borg Assimilator" roller coaster. Children who seemed happy and cuddly in elementary school can become withdrawn, self-conscious and argumentative in middle school.

Almost all middle-school children experience some difficulty, and some school staff members are responding to dips in academic achievement by establishing smaller academic teams for students, offering orientation programs and providing other support for students and parents.

As our daughter prepares to enter sixth grade this fall, we will take advantage of these opportunities. The Davis Drive Middle School staff already is reaching out to our family with invitations to workshops and open houses. Principal Linda Bird wants parents to develop relationships with the staff before a crisis occurs.

The strategies for easing a student's transition include workshops on organizational skills, note-taking and bullying. Students are encouraged to become involved in clubs and other extracurricular activities. Even though sixth-graders are too young for athletic competition, they are encouraged to volunteer as managers or statisticians.

Here are some other tips:

* Give your child emotional support instead of lectures. Ask open-ended questions. He or she will be more willing to share what's really going on.

* Visit the school to walk through your child's class schedule, buy a combination lock and have him or her practice on it and meet the team teachers and counselor.

* Prepare your child for a more challenging academic environment -- rigorous classes with more homework, research projects and a wider range of assignments. If there are workshops on being organized and taking notes, be sure your child attends.

* Post your child's schedule and school calendar on the refrigerator to make it easier to give gentle reminders on school activities and alternating daily schedules that might require special arrangements, including a change of clothes for gym.

* Anticipate a different social climate with more peer pressure. Girls in particular can become involved in power struggles that might require a daughter to develop emotional survival skills. My seventh-grade son, Nick, was surprised by how quickly his friends could change and was a little hurt when longtime buddies didn't include him in their new interests.

* Go to extracurricular activities. You can count on your child to look for you in the audience.

* Learn more about adolescent development and your child's changing needs -- for more opportunities for creative expression, positive social interactions, clear expectations, meaningful participation and physical activity.

Nick found ways to express his creativity through the band's percussion classes and to burn off steam by joining the track team.

* Develop a network of support and encouragement. The PTA and other parent groups in your child's school can offer ways for you to get the help you need during these often stressful times. Check the school Web site for ways to reach other parents.

* Maintain family rituals such as dinners together and vacations. Now more than ever, your child needs a stress-free home with a loving family.