After they came to, they expressed their concerns -- they were worried I'd never find a job. I've disproved them by now, though, having been through countless jobs over the past 20 years.

There are plenty of jobs out there for other English majors, too, since no one else can or will do them. Ironically, my previous computer science classmates are back in the market, having had their jobs outsourced. And because they've never learned to communicate with anything human, they create ridiculous grammatical errors all over the place.

Don't believe me? Look around. It's as if we've become a world without a proofreader. Most of the errors are found in signs at places of business, which should really consider hiring my English major buddies to review everything they hang on their walls.

Recently, Triangle Area Freelancers struck up a rousing online discussion about grammar! Mark Cantrell, a local writer whose name, I believe, has graced this publication in the past, saw this sign at an establishment in Triangle Town Center: Dog's Welcome.

If they meant to imply that all dogs, in the plural form, are welcome, then they need to erase the apostrophe. That's used for possessives and contractions.

Leaving it in creates numerous other interpretations. Could be there's only one dog welcome, and they were trying to say, "Dog is welcome." Sounds rather Slavic, da? "Dog is welcome, but Moose and Squirrel must die, Boris."

Then again, maybe they like that bounty hunter from TV.

The apostrophe might be possessive, and a "Dog's Welcome" is what you will receive if you go into that store. In which case, I'd walk on, not really wanting a salesclerk to wag his tail, drool on me and sniff me in inappropriate places.

Lastly, it could just mean that a dyslexic was preparing for the Second Coming.

Don Vaughan, another Triangle Area Freelancers member whose writings you've seen right here, shared this beauty, from a counter at the food court Chick-fil-A: It's "our pleasure" to refill your drink.

Quotation marks are meant to enclose either direct quotes or figurative language. Since there was no source cited for the insightful quote of "our pleasure," it's to be assumed that "our pleasure" is figurative. In which case, I'd be pretty skeptical of their intentions, and probably eschew the refill.

And we're not even going to talk about the people who misuse the triple-spot ellipse ... on ... their ... signs, to the point where you could swear William Shatner must have been dictating the words to them. Out, damn'd spot!

Last fall, my favorite McDonald's posted its employment needs and seasonal menu offerings on the same sign without any punctuation, resulting in this gem: "NOW HIRING MANAGERS & CREW PUMPKIN PIE." Can you imagine how the job interview for a pumpkin pie might go?

"Well, we need someone with a crusty personality, but who's not afraid to be sweet inside. Your function fits within a typical box."

Another sign near me has no grammatical errors; it's simply unnecessary.

The cheapest gas in town is just down the street, and the pump traffic is maddening. So they put up signs at either end of the rows of pumps, reading, "Exit only" and "Enter only."

The second one is a waste of posterboard; can anyone tell me when you will read an "Enter only" sign from your car and actually be in danger of breaking that rule?

I see my word limit is rapidly approaching. This is a sign I should...obey...and bring my word's to an "end."

Seen any other ridiculous signs in North Raleigh? Send 'em in!