Some call plans to build an urban-like center in the Brier Creek area and city-like buildings at North Hills Mall visionary. I say they're not visionary enough.

Let me summarize the proposals: American Asset Corp. of Charlotte wants to bring a concept they call "new urbanism" to a 300-acre tract in the Brier Creek area. The concept involves row homes that come right up to the sidewalk, and businesses mixed in with homes rather than separated in office parks -- sort of Brooklyn comes to North Raleigh.

Meanwhile, at the North Hills Mall, developer John Kane wants to build two seven-story office buildings that would be closer to the road than we're used to seeing in suburbia. The idea is to bring a little bit of an urban feel to North Raleigh, where buildings tend to be far off beyond parking lots.

These are both nice plans, but I say that if you're gonna do something different, go all the way. I mean, if someone were homesick for New York or wherever, a few zoning variances ain't gonna do the trick.

I don't want to see these projects fail, so as an ex-New Yorker I'd like to offer these developers some advice:

* Create your own private police force and hire only ex-New York City cops. When someone gets lost and they ask a cop, let's say, how to get to Brier Creek Parkway, the cop could stare at them, then answer: "Where ya goin'?"

* Create a taxi force and give the drivers "attitude adjustment" training. For instance, teach them how to honk their horns the instant the light turns green. Almost any taxi driver in New York can teach that skill.

* Hire stunt men as bicycle messengers to dart in and out of traffic, and this is essential: They must learn to curse out motorists who have the gall to be driving vehicles on a street.

I don't know about you, but I'd feel right at home.