This scene hasn't occurred yet at any Home Depots. But the ban on garbage disposals enacted this week by the Raleigh City Council could turn North Raleigh into a hotbed of crime.

You can pay $300,000 for a home with granite countertops, stainless steel appliances and tile backsplashes -- but you can't put in a garbage disposal?

Will we soon see SUVs cruising the streets of Wakefield in search of illicit food grinders?

"Three hundred bucks? Man, that's a little steep."

"Dude, this is primo stuff. It's got SoundSeal Plus technology -- cool it, here comes the 5-0."

Hopefully, it won't get to that. But as of March 17 it becomes a crime to install a garbage disposal in Raleigh, or in the towns served by Raleigh's water and systems (which include Wake Forest and Rolesville.)

It's all part of an effort to stop grease from getting into sewers and causing clogs, which cause overflows.

Actually, North Raleigh already is a hotbed for lawlessness. One thing I learned while reading up on the new law is that it has been illegal since 1999 to put food into garbage disposals.

You read that right -- every time you pour soup into the sink, you're breaking the law.

Did you know that, you little rebel? You may be a suburban dad, but you're bad to the bone. Hey, soccer mom, you're born to be wild.

Not that SWAT teams are going to surround your home. Even though you're not supposed to use disposals, it's not illegal to own them. But you can't replace them if they break.

It's unlikely, though, that anyone is going to catch you.

"Enforcement is the difficult thing," explained Robert Massengill, assistant public utilities director. "Who really knows what goes on inside a person's home?"

So what should people do with yucky items like partially eaten soup? Massengill suggests pouring it into your sink's catch drain, then scooping out the solid dregs and putting them into the garbage can.

Gross as that is, cleaning up a sewer overflow is probably worse.

As for me, I'm taking no chances with my soup dregs. I plan to turn my life around, come clean, walk the line. I ain't going to that pokey.

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