Have you ever seen a kid throw a tantrum, and it escalates from tears to tears with the red face to tears with the red face and the screaming to tears with the red face and the screaming and the pounding on the floor? At some point, Mom and Dad say, "Son, you're going to hurt yourself. You're going to pop something. And you're a sight."

So it goes for the Republicans, who got beaten by President Bill Clinton twice, grumbled while he turned a budget deficit into a surplus and grew jobs, and maintained high popularity ratings even as they impeached him. All the while, his critics were like a poorly trained monkey who keeps sticking his hand into the food pellet dispenser even though he gets shocked every time. He never learns.

Earlier this week, on one of that multitude of talk shows on cable TV, some conservative, tousle-haired young fellow (your correspondent admits up front a raging jealousy over anyone with something to be tousled) had a hissy to rival any kindergartner. It was all about the now-infamous Sunday interview on Fox News wherein former President Clinton put interviewer Chris Wallace in his place and then proceeded to give the right-wingers a piece of his mind.

Clinton pointed his finger all right (the question had sort of wondered whether Clinton had done enough to get Osama bin Laden), and he did lean over to make his point, and he was pretty tough. But on these cable gabfests, various talking heads have reckoned that Clinton "blew up," was "angry and red-faced," "lost it," etc. That's just stupid, because that's an exaggeration. But even when there is videotape that demonstrates exactly what went on, the cable gang is like a back fence gossip network: Joe tells a neighbor that his wife has a cold, and by the time the story gets five blocks down and to the 10th fence, the word is that he killed her and has run off to Tupelo with Paris Hilton.

The other thing that's gone on with the aftermath of the Clinton thing is that the conservative commentators have been so much in demand that some second-string experts are now getting in the game:

"We have with us tonight some people with insight into this controversy. Now Mandy, you worked in the White House under the first President Bush, so you can bring a unique viewpoint and perspective to this situation. What is your view of the situation with President Clinton, and his criticism of the current Bush administration?

"Well, actually, I was the assistant dog groomer for Mrs. Barbara Bush. I can tell you that there was a tick infestation in the East Room, and it was a nightmare, and I remember the Bushes always said it probably came from President Carter's hamster."

"Brilliant, Mandy! So what you're saying is, the hysterical, angry, violent outburst President Clinton had on Fox News in fact has its roots in a conspiracy during the Carter administration?"

"Uh...no, I'm just saying, you know, that there were ticks, and..."

"And a lot more. Right, Mandy? Thank you."

Anyway, back to the hissy this fellow was having -- in addition to being so eager to pounce on Clinton, he couldn't even get a motorcycle or a leaf blower or whatever it was to shut off, though it was making it hard to hear him. So he's kind of raising his voice to be heard, and he wants to get in some jabs at Clinton, and he's trying to talk to a guest, some Democrat you know, and he's really excited. But the motorcycle won't stop. You had to feel sorry -- I'll bet he's saying to himself, that Walter Cronkite could stop the doggone motorcycle.

The Republicans really ought to know that Clinton is going to get 'em, just like the food machine gets the monkey. And they should know because they had their own champeen communicator in the late Ronald Reagan. He drove his opponents crazy for eight years, remained unfazed by what they said about him, weathered scandals, raised gazillions of dollars, and remained immensely popular in most corners and revered in many others until he died. Every time he smiled, the opposition party took a little jab in the belly. And every time they got mad at Reagan, their poll numbers went down. The guy was tough.

The Democrats then should have saved themselves, and the Republicans now should save themselves the annoyance, the potential overheating, and just reconcile themselves to Clinton's brain and political brawn, to the fact that's he's going to whip them every time, and move it on down the line. 'Cause y'all are a sight.