North Carolina "laws" to protect the elderly can be prohibiting even to children with durable power of attorney. A parent cannot be forced to leave their house even when another living situation would be more suitable.

At age 90, my mother refused to leave her house for the doctor or hairdresser. Increasing dementia limited her comprehension and judgment to agree to in-home care. Other issues became increasingly worse. Weakening mobility from prior hip and knee replacements resulted in multiple falls. Her diet of choice became chocolate ice cream and cake eaten out of the box with a spoon. Her hygiene deteriorated. She was paying for gutter cleaning, and there were none.

Her eyesight was failing, and she accidentally poured a combustible fluid in the Maytag. She eagerly talked to all strangers that called or visited. Real estate agents were knocking on the door offering deals to persuade her to sell the house and land. A neighbor was threatening to call Social Services, saying she was too old to stay in the house.

In desperation, I contacted Social Services and discussed the issues with a counselor specializing in elder cases. In summary, he reminded me she has rights and could not be forced to leave the house and, in turn, could cry elder abuse.

At age 91, she fell for the last time in her house without broken bones and was admitted to the hospital. Power of attorney was automatically invoked, and I became next of kin with signature authority. The required three-day hospitalization and completed medical evaluation qualified her for transfer to a very nice rest home. She is 93 now, sitting in her wheelchair with wispy white curls beneath a pink straw hat and a big toothless laugh. I thank the angels for watching over and allowing her to receive comfort and care in a safe and loving environment. She is my sweet mama, and she still loves chocolate.

Donna Ramsey

Raleigh