Something is wrong with my Woman Card. Maybe it got demagnetized in my big ol’ lady purse. Or maybe I used up all my points. It’s possible I forgot to pay the bill. You know how forgetful my gender can be – smiley face.
I’m just saying, the way Donald Trump talked about the Woman Card that Hillary Clinton is using to get a free ride into the White House, I figured it would at least get me a few modest perks. It didn’t even get me a discount at my local coffee shop or drugstore, even though I was buying all kinds of women things, including tissues to soak up my girl tears and gum to keep my mouth from talking too much or too loudly.
Apparently, Trump doesn’t think women should shout, either.
I’m stumped at how Clinton is going to ride the Woman Card into the presidency when I couldn’t even ride SEPTA with mine. Apologies to the lovely conductor whose head looked like it was going to explode when I handed him my handmade card. I was just trying to prove a point.
And the point is that Candidate Trump has out-delusioned even himself if he really believes that women – slightly more than half the population – love him.
Recent polls showed that a whopping 70 percent of female voters overall have a negative view of him. On Tuesday, Clinton received a higher percentage of the vote among female Democrats than Trump received among female Republicans.
Women made up 53 percent of the electorate four years ago. Trump may want to check his sexist Man Card at the door before November. And in case anyone is thinking I’m suggesting they vote for Clinton based on her gender, I’m not. There are plenty of reasons to vote for her, or not, besides her gender. But to suggest she’s getting some advantage because she’s a woman is pure bull.
Even the first lady of New Jersey, Mary Pat Christie, who was standing behind Trump when he made the comment during his victory speech in New York, had trouble not showing her hand. Was it an eye-roll? Was it side-eye? Whatever it was, many women who turned to social media to express their disgust shared the feeling.
I asked women on Twitter how they planned to use their Woman Card, now that we know we have it. Maybe we could use it to demand equal pay, I wondered, or increased access to health care. Or, manicured fingers crossed, can we redeem it to stop men from making decisions on behalf of our bodies, or mansplaining or manspreading? Can we stop the bro-promoting – I might have made that term up, but the practice is widespread – that keeps women from top positions in almost every sector.
It would be hilarious, if it didn’t come from a place we women know all too well.
As Issie Lapowsky said in her excellent Wired piece in which she attempted to explain sexism to Trump: “In basically every country on Earth, women are far less likely than men to hold CEO positions, serve in government, serve on boards, and make the same amount as their male counterparts.”
When I handed my custom Woman Card to the clerk at my local CVS, she looked confused and asked if I had another card.
Come to think of it, I actually do have another one: the Race Card that supposedly also gives people who look like me all kinds of advantages. Bonus!
But darn it, I left it in my other purse.
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Helen Ubinas is a columnist for the Philadelphia Daily News.