There exists voluminous advice for good-hearted women stuck with good-timing, two-timing or thieving men. Books, movies, songs -- including the greatest country song ever sung by a woman -- all counsel women on how to stand by your man when he's in trouble.

When they do, we either praise them for their sacrifice or as many have foolishly done in the case of Hillary Clinton -- make that Sen. Hillary Clinton -- pillory them for being saps.

Alas, after weeks of searching, I've found no such advice for men, no blueprints for sticking by Sweet Thang in court or telling the kids why mommy can no longer make her string bean casserole for Sunday dinner or why she's wearing that striped suit with the numbers on the chest.

Too bad. Robert Phipps could sure use such help right about now. Phipps has sat in court for the past two weeks listening as people attack the integrity of his wife, former Agriculture Commissioner Meg Scott Phipps. She was found guilty of four charges Thursday.

Courtroom observers had to sympathize as he sat in the front of the courtroom with what was, no doubt, practiced restraint and stoicism as formerly close friends told of illegally handing her cash and being coerced by her to lie.

I know firsthand how hard it is to stick by a woman in trouble, since I've dated many women who were on a first-name basis with the law and the justice system. And they weren't lawyers.

Although few admit it, many men are suckers for a straight-razor-totin' woman -- I like 'em with blue gums -- who has run afoul of the law. If she can cook or fight, that's doubly delicious.

Even now, at such an advanced age, I'm a sucker for a woman wearing a Band-Aid that might be covering a battle scar.

None of those women, though, could've gotten me a free ride at the State Fair or even a discounted turkey leg -- unless they threatened to punch out the person at the counter.

Meg could, at least until she resigned her post under fire from state and federal investigators for accepting illegal campaign contributions. That's a "bribe" to you and me.

As is my ordained duty, I will fill the void by offering this song to any man, including Robert Phipps, whose woman could be about to do some time.

Maestro, hit it:

Sometimes it's hard to be a husband

When your wife's been charged with taking cash.

She had good times

Now you'll have bad times

Till she tells where she hid her stash.

Stand by your Meg,

Give her a place to run to

Each time the lawman comes to

Take her away from you now ...

Yes, it's hard when you're a hubby

Giving all your love to just one wife

When the Commish of Agriculture's

Being pursued by media vultures

And her reputation's been ruined for life.

Stand by your Meg

And show the world you love her

If into a cell they shove her.

Just try to smuggle her a turkey legggggg.

Stand by yer Meggggg.