ASBURY PARK, N.J. - With a solemn exchange of vows and a kiss, Louis Navarrete and Ric Best became the first same-sex couple to marry in New Jersey.

Hours after the 2004 ceremony, their marriage was over -- not because they didn't love each other anymore, but because the state told them their union was illegal.

Three years later, New Jersey still does not allow same-sex couples to marry. But beginning today, the Garden State will become the third in the nation to allow civil unions.

Many of the estimated 20,000 same-sex couples living in New Jersey view the law as a historic step in that direction.

Navarrete and Best, who now live in Philadelphia, say the law is an unacceptable compromise that still places gay men and women in a "less-than" category. They have no plans to move back to New Jersey to seek a civil union.

"The whole point is, there's still a huge unfairness in the system," said Navarrete, a 45-year-old interior designer.

"It has nothing to do with going down the aisle in a white dress, but when you say the word marriage, that's what people think of. It has everything to do with uniting people with equal rights."

What to call it?

In October, the state Supreme Court ordered New Jersey legislators to offer same-sex couples all the benefits of marriage, but left it up to the lawmakers what to call the arrangement.

They opted for "civil unions" in part because of opposition from legislators who objected on religious grounds to calling the institution "marriage."

Under the new law, there is a three-day waiting period after a civil union application is filed, so same-sex couples can become united as soon as Thursday. Couples with valid civil unions from other states can be legally joined as of 12:01 a.m. today.

Vermont and Connecticut already have civil union laws. Massachusetts is the only state to allow same-sex marriages.

Inspired by Ellen

Best, a 47-year-old artist, recalled watching Ellen Degeneres' television talk show in March 2004 when an announcer interrupted the broadcast with a report that President Bush planned to seek a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage.

He persuaded Navarrete that day to go to City Hall in Asbury Park, where they lived at the time, to apply for a marriage license.

Wed, then not

Asbury Park, where a growing gay community has spearheaded an economic revival, is one of New Jersey's most gay-friendly enclaves. City officials granted marriage license requests like the one Navarrete and Best made the following day. After waiting the required 72 hours, they were wed -- or so they thought.

Within hours, the state attorney general invalidated the marriage, saying it violated state law.

"We still feel we're married, period," Best said. "We had the ceremony, we said, 'I do.' We're married."

Navarrete said he is particularly frustrated with the state because at the time his marriage was ruled illegal, the governor was James E. McGreevey -- who later resigned after announcing that he was gay and had an affair with a male staffer.

"Now he's the poster boy for gay fabulousness, and we can't get married," Navarrete said. "There's something not right with that."

In a book tour in September, McGreevey said he opposed same-sex marriage because he feared that supporting it would kill his political career.

"I was proud to be against gay marriage because that's where I thought a majority of New Jerseyans were," he told The Associated Press at the time.

"I did not want to be identified as being gay, and it was the safe place to be. That's successful politics.

"What I didn't understand was that being gay, as with everything else, is a grace from God."

Better in Jersey?

Steven Goldstein, chairman of Garden State Equality, a gay rights group, said he understands the couple's dissatisfaction with the way New Jersey handled the issue. But he said there are more opportunities for gay couples now in New Jersey than in Pennsylvania, where they live.

"I believe that Ric and Louis are contrary to the trend that's now happening in that gay couples from other states are now coming to New Jersey, where we have had an extraordinary amount of gay rights advances," he said.