Understand the culture

Today's average 21st-century workplace is, to put it mildly, not your dear ol' dad's office. There are things like flex time, telecommuting, e-mail and voice mail now.

"There is a trend toward a more casual environment -- less hierarchal interaction," explains Laura Crawshaw, a self-proclaimed "boss whisperer" and author of "Taming the Abrasive Manager" (Jossey-Bass, $24.95).

Maybe you're even one of the fortunate ones -- you actually like and get along well with your supervisor. You spend coffee breaks together, hang out on weekends and sometimes even share secrets.

What that often means, Crawshaw says, is a blurred line between employee and boss.

Even so, she advises, employees should maintain a sense of decorum.

If Casual Friday happens all week, for instance, fine, go ahead and wear your sneakers and favorite clean T-shirt. But it's still better to err on the side of caution.

"Casual is good as long as respectful conduct is maintained," she says.

Nicole Woolsey Biggart, dean of the University of California-Davis' Graduate School of Management, agrees.

"Unless you're indispensable, play it safe," Biggart says. "Until you really know the culture and the players, you should act conservatively."

It really should go without saying, but we'll say it anyway: The office is never, ever, a place for sex jokes, bad hygiene, rude behavior or mean gossip -- updates on Britney Spears excepted.

And, oh yeah, please remember to always use your Inside Voice.

Pace your boss

OK, so let's say -- just for kicks -- that your boss shows up to work at 11 a.m. (Yeah, we wish.) Is it cool for you to do the same?

Pretty much, says John McKee, a business success coach based in Thousand Oaks, Calif. It's all about following the standards set by your supervisor, he explains.

"If your boss is prone to coming in early or staying late, you should be there when (he or she) is there," McKee says. "Let them see you have the same work ethic. If your boss is successful [because of] your contributions, then he or she may give you more resources." (Or a bigger raise.)

It's also important to understand your boss's idea of office etiquette. Does he or she want to be invited along on that Starbucks run? Included in the morning "Dancing With the Stars" recap, or named first in the e-mail CC field? (Yes, some people do look.)

Figuring out such details can make your job go more smoothly, Biggart says, but also remember that function over form is equally important.

"There was a time when companies were more concerned about form and process and who was CC'd on a memo," she says. "Now companies are a lot more results-oriented. How you address someone on a memo isn't as important."

Speak up, stand up

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to blend into the scenery, McKee says.

"There's no room for wallflowers," he says. "Self-promotion is particularly important when bosses have a bigger span of control and responsibilities."

And no, that doesn't mean you have to brag. Instead, learn how to point out your accomplishments gracefully. One of the best ways, McKee says, is to put it in writing.

"Tell your supervisor, 'I know you're busy, so why don't I send an e-mail telling you what I'm working on and what I've done?' " McKee says. "Bosses love that kind of thing."

Savvy employees also need to know how to handle any conflicts that may arise with a supervisor.

No one should have to put up with an abusive manager, Crawshaw says.

"In the old days, a boss could behave as they chose and there weren't many consequences," she says. "These days, it's a different environment -- companies can't afford to retain abrasive bosses because they'll lose valuable employees."

So, if you do find yourself with a boss-from-you-know-where?

"Figure out why that person is so difficult to work for," Biggart says. "You need a diagnosis -- is that person neurotic, going through a divorce or some other kind of stress?"

If that doesn't work, turn to your human resources department for intervention, she says.

"Just don't turn a blind eye to the problem," Crawshaw says.

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