Sign thieves slither

Ah, the perennials of the political season: negative political ads, empty rhetoric, stacks of glossy candidates' fliers that go straight into the circular file and ...

Stolen campaign signs.

But this year, the thieves are more brazen than ever, and, with the election still three weeks away, people are getting mad.

Wanda Martin of Raleigh said that her John McCain sign was stolen in broad daylight Monday. A neighbor's sign was ripped out of its metal holder, which was left standing.

A "show of conquest," said Martin, who like many now takes in her signs at night. "This is not a prank -- it's a crime!"

And it happens on both sides of the street, so to speak.

In Donna Dold's Raleigh neighborhood, Barack Obama signs were worse than stolen -- they were replaced by McCain's. Dold filed a police report: two five-dollar signs. It was the principle.

Enough Obama signs were taken from Dr. Susan Eder's house that her husband finally painted his own.

That was taken, too.

Some people see grand themes in the lifting of these small displays of political allegiance.

Patrick Lawler of Henderson wrote that it is an "anti-American thief" who bends so low as to lift a sign's stakes out of tender grass.

"America is built on the idea that people of differing views and beliefs can live side by side in this, the greatest country in the world," Lawler wrote. "Isn't that what our troops are fighting for?"

What the thieves may not realize is that their actions only make their opponents more rabid, more evangelical.

Every time Lawler's signs disappear, he goes down to Obama headquarters and writes a check for more.

Lawler said his disappointment in the sign terrorists was ameliorated somewhat by the recent kindness of a "true Southern gentleman," who found some of Lawler's discarded signs in his yard and returned them.

This, even though the true Southern gentleman is a McCain man.

But other victims of sign crime have not experienced such kindnesses. They are one click away from surveillance cameras, booby traps and all-night patrols.

Erin Duffy, who lives in Raleigh's North Hills, said she spied men in an SUV snagging her Obama sign and a neighbor's.

She boldly ran to the curb, but the SUV sped away. Later, sign thieves even reached in her storm door and took down an Obama poster.

She doesn't believe McCain masterminded the theft. But some victims are so chapped by these thefts that their anger is now directed at the opposing candidate and party.

Kristi Davis of Raleigh wrote that her missing McCain sign is another case of "open-minded" Democrats being hate-filled and close-minded.

Nancy Fitzsimons of Raleigh, whose Obama signs were lifted, asked: "What does this say about the character and political affiliation of these petty juvenile thieves when only Obama signs are stolen?"

What does it say?

Not much, except that people who skulk through neighborhoods lifting opposing candidates' signs are pathetic losers.

They're like hecklers, with even less courage.

They're an embarrassment, no matter which presidential candidate you prefer.

I can assure you neither Obama nor McCain want men in an SUV -- or a Prius -- stealing signs. There's so much more at stake.