Family searches for killer, normalcy

Nielsen kin's grief spun into activism

HOLLY SPRINGS -- For nearly eight weeks, the kitchen in Kevin Blaine's home has looked like a command center.

Three laptop computers occupy the far right end of a breakfast bar. Some are logged onto Justice4Jenna.org, which updates the public on the case involving the death of Blaine's daughter, Jennifer "Jenna" Nielsen. Nielsen, 22, was found stabbed to death behind a Raleigh convenience store. She was eight months pregnant.

The family -- which includes Blaine; his wife, Staci; their three children; Jenna's husband, Tim Nielsen; and their two surviving children -- have channeled their grief into helping Raleigh police find Nielsen's killer.

Every family responds to grief differently. Some families hold it in. Others seek support from the community. Others fall apart. The Blaines have worked to present a united front.

"Our motivation is one thing -- we have to catch a killer," Blaine said.

In April 2006, Tim Nielsen and Kevin Blaine moved from Utah into an apartment in Fuquay- Varina and went to work at Lillington-based Boon Edam Tomsed Inc., a revolving-door manufacturer. The rest of the family settled in a year ago this month.

In the early morning hours of June 14, Nielsen slipped out of her apartment, her husband and young children still asleep, to head to her job stocking USA Today newspaper boxes, mostly in Garner and South Raleigh. With the job, she could return home in time for her husband to head to work, then spend the rest of the day with her young children.

When she wasn't home on time, her husband worried that she might have gone into labor on her route. Instead, officers came to his house that morning and informed him that his wife was dead.

Nielsen's body was found behind the AmeriKing Food Mart and Exxon station at Lake Wheeler Road and Centennial Boulevard, across from the State Farmers Market. Relatives have said it was usually the second or third stop on her route. Police have not discussed a motive for the killing and are not releasing details about the case.

Sleepless nights

"It's frustrating not knowing anything," Tim Nielsen said. "There's a void that will never be filled, and [the suspect] may not even be in the area anymore."

He said he finds himself thinking of his wife, a 5-foot-3-inch dynamo known for making silly faces. The number of sleepless nights since her death are too many to remember, Nielsen said. He also worries how her death is affecting their surviving children, 3-year-old Schyler and Kaiden, almost a year old.

"They really don't understand," he said. "Schyler wants to know why she's not coming home again. It's hard every time he sees her picture on TV."

Immediately after Nielsen's death, finding the person responsible became the family mission. Fliers were printed by a local company, a neighbor developed a Web site, ideas for T-shirts and wristbands started circulating. Neighborhood grocery stores, churches and Blaine and Tim Nielsen's co-workers brought food to the Blaine family home in Holly Springs, where all eight stayed following Jenna Nielsen's death.

"We didn't know where to begin," Blaine said. "The community has been excellent to us."

Blaine said he was spending "every waking moment" trying to solve his daughter's case. Until his wife stepped in.

Everything and everyone was taking a backseat to interviews and visits, Staci Blaine, Jenna Nielsen's stepmother, said.

She remembers being sequestered upstairs with all the children, keeping them quiet while Blaine and Nielsen participated in a TV interview downstairs.

"I said, 'I understand we lost a child, but we have three other children who need their parent,' " Staci Blaine said of her and Kevin Blaine's children -- Sharlee Kubota, Jason Kubota and Chris Blaine. "It felt like we weren't being parents as well as we should have. I could see it when I tried to talk to the kids.

"It's like the world keeps going on, and you're expected to go to work, pay the bills. And your brain's not there."

Maintaining a balance after tragedy was an experience Staci Blaine knew. At 25, she found herself widowed with a 5-year-old and a 17-month-old depending on her. Then, with a little help from her mother, she was able to pull it together for her family.

"As a parent," she said, "that's what you're expected to do."

Martin Williams, a clinical and forensic psychologist in California who deals with post traumatic stress issues, said the reaction to a major tragedy varies. Staying involved seems to be how Jenna Nielsen's family is coping, he said.

"We're often reassuring people that people experience grief in different ways," he said. "Some turn inward, but, for others, part of the process might be to get the whole community involved."

"Grief is so highly personal," said Ann Seymour, cofounder of Justice Solutions, a Washington nonprofit . "As a society, we tend to try to normalize grief. There's nothing normal about it."

As Jenna's family tries to move forward, they also mourn. They mourn for the wife and mother who could capture the center of attention in any room she walked into. And they grieve for Ethen Asdyn, the son she was carrying who, according to the autopsy report from the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner in Chapel Hill, weighed about 6 pounds and was nearly 20 inches long.

"We don't know who we're looking for," Blaine said, his eyes beginning to water. "But whatever it's gonna take, we're gonna go that extra mile."