Head on over to Google and search for “bold predictions” and “college football” and marvel at the results. ESPN has some bold predictions that are, well, pretty bold, I'd say. But are they as bold as the bold predictions at Fox Sports? Those are so bold they're like big boulders of boldness.
All told, a lot of bold. So I figured I'd jump on the boldwagon, if you will, with some bold predictions of my own. All related to the UNC football season, which starts later today against Liberty.
Hold on to your hats, folks, and wear some shades. These bold predictions are so bold, they might just leak through your keyboard and stain your fingertips:
(Oh, and it’d help if you read these as Norm MacDonald might during his Larry King impersonation, an example of which is above.)
1. The Tar Heels will start a quarterback in every game this season, likely either Marquise Williams or Mitch Trubisky. Or, in absence of those two, Kanler Coker or Caleb Henderson. Caleb Pressley will never start.
2. UNC will win games and, perhaps, lose games. But it will never win games and lose games on the same weekend. Not even once.
3. Larry Fedora, known for his openness, will strangely decline to discuss injuries. Mark it down!
4. The Duke-UNC football rivalry, long a lowly second fiddle to the schools' basketball rivalry, will vault to national prominence with a nationally-televised game this season.
5. You heard it here first: UNC and N.C. State, despite decades and decades of animosity, will put their differences aside and get together for a game on Thanksgiving weekend.
6. Norkeithus Otis, senior bandit, will continue to have one of the most unique names on the team.
7. The Tar Heels will defeat Liberty in week one, but they will never bring down one of the tenets of American society and, despite the defeat, Lady Liberty will remain tall and proud in Manhattan Harbor.
8. Mark it down! Elijah Hood will set every record imaginable for a freshman running back from Charlotte named Elijah Hood.
9. Eric Ebron, the tight end who could have been UNC's best offensive player, will continue to remain AWOL in the “NFL,” putting his collegiate eligibility at risk and his return to college in doubt.
10. UNC will go 9-3 – losses to Clemson, Notre Dame and Miami – and win the Coastal Division.
Andrew Carter is the UNC athletics beat reporter for The News & Observer and Charlotte Observer. (And, usually, he’s more serious than this.) Follow him on Twitter at @_andrewcarter .