An easy oyster roast

Steaming in a pit, on a grill or in an oven yields rich delicacy

A Southern comedian used to tell a story about Michael Jackson and the Atlanta Braves.

It was back in the days when the entertainer had his original nose and when the baseball team was absolutely terrible. The punch line had to do with Jackson and the Braves wearing one glove for no apparent reason.

One of the best reasons I've run across for wearing one glove is to shuck steamed oysters. I recommend one rubber glove on your holding hand, for a very apparent reason, and the oyster knife in your other hand.

Our youngest son lives in Wilmington and periodically brings a bushel or so of big, fat "Topsails," as they are known, or if he's feeling particularly generous, "Stump Sounds," a crisp-tasting, salty, local delicacy harvested by hardy souls who ply the coastal waters.

This, of course, calls for an oyster roast. But it's not the high-volume affair that you may picture when you hear that term. It's a personal oyster roast.

A traditional Down East oyster roast is a pretty basic operation, but it's also no small affair logistically. It usually involves an open pit fire, perhaps an iron grill, some sheet metal or tin from an old roof for a grate and a pile of soaked burlap bags or some other hearty material to cover the oysters.

The oysters are piled on whatever is serving as the grate over the coals, or low-burning fire, depending on the depth of the fire pit and the height of the supports the grate is on. They are covered with the wet bags and, pretty soon, the steam and heat work their magic. The oysters cook, the muscles give up trying to hold the shells tightly closed and you have an oyster roast.

Add hot butter, a spicy ketchup-based dipping sauce, crackers, oyster knives, perhaps some cold adult beverages and whatever side dishes seem appropriate, and you're in business.

The oysters are usually dumped in the middle of some type of large table (4-foot-by-8-foot sheets of plywood work well), around which are gathered the oyster eaters, knives in hand and individual bowls of hot butter and sauce in front of them. Everyone is on his or her own.

But what if you're not in the market for, or don't have room for a large-scale affair? You can achieve the same results with very little trouble right at home, inside or outside.

If you live on or near the coast, the oysters aren't a problem. Seafood houses and other sources will have them when in season. You may have to check around a bit to find them in the shell if you're an inlander. And they may be a bit pricey, but they can usually be had. You may want to give them a thorough wash from the garden hose, depending on how well they were cleaned up when they were purchased.

Butter, sauce, crackers, other sides and libations of choice are no problem once you've located the oysters.

So what about the pit and fire and grate and burlap bags? Not necessary. There are at least a couple of ways to have a perfectly good personal oyster roast, for one or a small group, with the gear everyone has around the house.

Simply fire up the grill or the oven. Use a broiler pan (or two depending on how many oysters you need to cook at once) with water in the bottom to produce the steam and pile the oysters on the broiler pan grid. Cover with a wet towel and pop onto the grill or slide into your oven turned up to 500 degrees or so. Just don't use the broil setting.

Depending on how done you like your oysters, you should be ready to start shucking in 15 to 20 minutes. If I'm in our garage and using the gas oven there, I either set up my hot butter container on the top burners as the oysters steam or, if I'm feeling really rustic, I heat the butter, and sometimes warm up the dipping sauce a bit on an old double Sterno stove.

If you do the oysters outside on the grill, set the burners on high to get things started. When they are steamed to your liking, turn the burners down to keep the oysters warm without overcooking them. There should be plenty of room to keep your butter and sauce warming on the grill too.

You'll need a bucket or two, depending on how many shuckers you've got, for the shells. If you're really getting into it, you may have to hose down the deck outside when you're finished. It's a great way to enjoy steamed oysters if you're cooking for one or a small group.