ESPN basketball analyst Jay Bilas said he doesn't think there was ever an athlete who played who didn't poke fun at his coach. 'You poke fun at the idiosyncracies of the people you love the most,' said Bilas, a former Duke player and assistant. Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski, with his wicked sense of humor, loves to do the same, but today, Krzyzewski does not have the floor. The N&O's Luciana Chavez recently gave the floor to some former players and assistants, asking them to share the story they would tell if asked to roast Krzyzewski in public. To mark Krzyzewski's 800th career victory, eight of them celebrate their former coach and/or colleague by doing just that.

Coach K was in charge -- whether he was playing or coaching

"I was in grad school at the time, and Coach would let me work the camps for extra money. In between sessions, the coaches would play the best campers. ... Coach K would play, Mike Brey would play. Tommy [Amaker] never played because he was smart. Pete Gaudet would play.

"Back then, Coach still had a little bit of game. He actually had a midrange game that he used to brag about. He'd said Chicago ballplayers couldn't shoot long range because the wind would be blowing too hard.

"Anyway, we knew Coach couldn't stretch a defense. So he's playing the point and I was happy to play the 2-guard because he never let me shoot anyway, and, it may sound odd, but he never passed to me either.

"Very rarely in those games did you see people end up on the floor making a hustle play. ... But one kid was out of control going fast down the lane. Coach is the one man back in a two-on-one, and you can hear him yell, 'My charge!'

"He's basically calling his shot. ... The kid couldn't slow down or didn't, so Coach takes the charge. Then I look over and he's on the ground with his hand cupped over his mouth and blood running down. He looks up and two of his front teeth are gone.

"Even better, he left, got it fixed and, the next day, he plays again and it happened again. That must be some metaphor for bouncing back from adversity."

Austin Toros (NBDL) coach Quin Snyder, Duke player 1986-1989, Duke assistant 1996-99

I could do one mean 'Crishefski' imitation

"It was a while back but when I played for him at Army, as a freshman, I probably could do as good a Coach K imitation as there was, at least at that time. I could do his mannerisms and I'd get his voice pretty good. Also, when he started, there was only one or two of us, and I know I was one of them, who could pronounce it right. 'Crishefski' -- that was one way. We butchered it in too many ways; I can't remember them all. I'm pretty sure that's where 'Coach K' started. I think we were the founding group of that. And it might have been Coach K's idea. It sure beat what we were calling him."

Texas Christian coach Neil Dougherty, Army player under Krzyzewski 1979-80

He loves his bread (not talking money)

"Since I was at Duke, Mike's program and the ACC have grown and grown, but the beauty of Mike is that he is very simple. Things don't really change with him as far as what he appreciates.

"So wherever we traveled, we'd eat dinner at these Steak N' Ale places. And immediately upon sitting down, Mike would grab a piece of bread and butter it and take a bite and make the same comment, 'Wow. You can't get bread like this down in Durham.'

"We'd tell him, 'Mike, they have these restaurants everywhere we go. This bread is not the gold standard of bread.' But he still said the same thing every single time.

"He really felt that bread was the best stuff he ever had. He's been all over the world and maybe he's changed in other ways, but I wouldn't be surprised if he still loves that bread."

Next page >