It’s that time of year again, when film critics and their organizations pick the top movies of the year. But there’s a slew of other awards they all too often leave out. Here’s a bunch of them.
Ripley/Lara Croft honorarium, given to the year’s best kick-butt female performance: Charlize Theron as Imperator Furiosa in “Mad Max: Fury Road.”
Thorazine Trophy, awarded to the year’s most utterly bonkers film: “Jupiter Ascending,” the latest from the Wachowskis, a sci-fi/fantasy/say wha? movie so bizarre, so utterly over-the-top and ridiculous, it had to be seen to be believed.
The one picture to see about ice hockey, even if you can’t stand the sport: “Red Army,” a fascinating documentary about the powerful Soviet hockey team.
Best intellectual cat fight: William F. Buckley vs. Gore Vidal in “Best of Enemies.”
Most ridiculous movie about pop music: “Danny Collins,” in which Al Pacino plays a cross between Neil Young and a Vegas lounge singer.
Best movie about pop music: “Love & Mercy,” with Paul Dano and John Cusack successfully playing Brian Wilson at different stages of his life.
Worst robot movie: “Chappie.”
Best stunt sequence: Tom Cruise jumping on a plane taking off in “Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation.”
Porn for journalists: “Spotlight,” the true story of how The Boston Globe uncovered sexual abuse in the Catholic Church.
Guilty pleasure: “Kingsman: The Secret Service,” a wild spoof of James Bond films.
Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing: “Mistress America,” the latest boring talk-fest about entitled New York narcissists from director Noah Baumbach and his actress muse, Greta Gerwig.
Trends that have exceeded their shelf life: Films based on post-apocalyptic YA novels; zombie flicks; rom-coms in which friends wind up sleeping with each other; bromances featuring Seth Rogen, James Franco and other 30-something actors.
Worst casting: Tie: Emma Stone as a part-Chinese, part-Hawaiian character in “Aloha”; Rooney Mara as Native American Tiger Lily in “Pan.”
Best child actor: Jacob Tremblay in “Room,” playing a 5-year-old who had spent his entire life imprisoned in a garden shed.
Worst parent: Michael Fassbender as the title character in “Steve Jobs,” who spends much of the film denying he’s the father of daughter Lisa.
Best line: “I’m going to have to science the s--- out of this,” Matt Damon, in “The Martian.”
UNICEF trophy (given to the film whose overblown budget could have been put to better use feeding the starving children of the planet): “Spectre,” which cost $250 million to produce.
Cinematic bravery citation: to Jafar Panahi, the Iranian director banned by his government from making films, but who makes them anyway. His latest, “Taxi,” in which he plays a cab driver dealing with a cross-section of Tehran society, is warm, witty and utterly courageous.
Science 101 citation (to the film which ignored all the laws of physics): “Furious 7.”
Most extensive use of the N-word: “The Hateful Eight”
Actors worth watching in pretty much anything: Michael Fassbender, Michael Shannon, Benecio Del Toro, Emily Blunt, Cobie Smulders, Jason Bateman, Cate Blanchett, Idris Elba, Tom Hardy
Actors whose appearance in a film pretty much guarantees it will stink: Kate Hudson, Vin Diesel, Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Katherine Heigl, Kevin Hart, Gerard Butler
A star is born: Daisy Ridley as Rey in “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”
Scariest villain: The American banking system, in “The Big Short”
Most unexpected scene: Margaret Robbie explaining what a subprime mortgage is while lounging in a bubble bath in “The Big Short.”
Best final shot: Adonis Creed and Rocky Balboa at the top of the Philadelphia Art Museum steps, looking out over the city, in “Creed.”
Please. Shut up: Quentin Tarantino, whose recent interviews suggest his ego has now ballooned to solar system-sized proportions.