The Indianapolis Colts went bad faster than airport sushi.
It's like one of those movies where people wind up trading bodies with each other, which are almost always awful movies. In this case, the Colts have turned into what the Detroit Lions used to be.
They're 0-10, haven't scored a touchdown in their past two games and they're going back and forth between Curtis Painter and Dan Orlovsky as the man to fill in for Peyton Manning in what's left of the Colts' offense. Yes, it's that serious.
The good news is another few losses will assure the Colts of the No. 1 pick in the next draft and that means Andrew Luck has a horseshoe helmet in his future. Even that has a down side because it could mean the end of Manning's days in Indy.
Digital Access for only $0.99
For the most comprehensive local coverage, subscribe today.
He's due a $28-million bonus early next year and he's got a literal pain in the neck that's causing an even bigger one for the Colts as they try to figure out how to handle a situation that could be more awkward than day-after photos from the office Christmas party.
Could Peyton Manning end his career elsewhere?
Johnny Unitas ended his as a San Diego Charger. Joe Montana ended his as a Kansas City Chief. Joe Namath ended his as a Los Angeles Ram.
What if Peyton Manning ended up playing for the Washington Redskins or the Cleveland Browns?
CAROLINA at INDIANAPOLIS: What could be worse than the way the Panthers have lost in successive games to the Vikings, Titans and Lions? Losing to the Colts. Breathe a sigh of relief. Panthers 27, Colts 17.
MINNESOTA at ATLANTA: Matt Ryan and his mates take care of business. Falcons 33, Vikings 20.
CLEVELAND at CINCINNATI: Some people think Bengals' quarterback Andy Dalton has been the best rookie quarterback in the league this year. He's been very good but I'm still taking Cam Newton as the rookie of the year. Bengals 29, Browns 13.
HOUSTON at JACKSONVILLE: Now that Matt Schaub is sidelined with a bad wheel, too bad the Texans can't claim Case Keenum from the University of Houston. He is busy making plans to attend the Heisman Trophy festivities next month. Texans 29, Jaguars 14.
TAMPA BAY at TENNESSEE: This may not be as good as 'Parenthood' or 'Boardwalk Empire' but it still beats getting up to go shopping at 4 a.m. Titans 26, Bucs 23.
ARIZONA at ST. LOUIS: In this new era of thriftiness, the Rams are doing their part. They've scored 10 offensive touchdowns in 10 games. Nice and neat. Rams 23, Cardinals 17.
BUFFALO at NEW YORK JETS: Rex Ryan was popped for $75,000 last week after saying something he shouldn't have to a fan who suggested he's no Bill Belichick. Just imagine what he's said to his underachieving team. It might make Andrew Dice Clay blush. Jets 20, Bills 14.
WASHINGTON at SEATTLE: There was some good news for the Redskins in their loss to Dallas last Sunday. It was first time in seven weeks they led in any game. The bad news is they lost again. And they aren't finished losing. Seahawks 24, Redskins 20.
CHICAGO at OAKLAND: Can the Bears win without Jay Cutler? Yes, but not this Sunday. Raiders 30, Bears 14.
NEW ENGLAND at PHILADELPHIA: The Eagles remain in desperation mode. DeSean Jackson remains in bad actor mode. Tom Brady remains Tom Brady. Eagles 24, Patriots 21.
DENVER at SAN DIEGO: According to the Denver Post, Broncos boss John Elway and one of his lieutenants spent last Saturday watching Oklahoma quarterback Landry Jones square off against Baylor's Robert Griffin III. Maybe they went to Waco, Texas just for the fun of going to Waco or maybe they're not counting on Tim Tebow as the long-term quarterback in John Fox's world. Chargers 24, Broncos 16.
PITTSBURGH at KANSAS CITY: The Tyler Palko era got off to a rough start Monday night. Home cooking isn't going to help this weekend, either. Steelers 31, Chiefs 14.
NEW YORK GIANTS at NEW ORLEANS: Everybody loves the Packers these days and I get it but don't forget about the Saints when playoff time rolls around. Saints 24, Giants 17.
Last week: 11-2