The Psychology of ‘Friends': What the Sitcom Reveals About Us

How many times have you rewatched Friends?

For many, the beloved sitcom is comfort TV and a good laugh. Therapist and author Benita Oshana would agree, but believes the series and each friend-Rachel, Ross, Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe-can also teach us a lot about ourselves.

In her new book, The One Where We Grow: What Our Favorite Sitcom Reveals About Us, she uses the show to explore everything from family dynamics to attachment styles, and what they can reveal about personality, relationships and emotional healing.

"As you learn about them [the characters], you’re secretly learning about yourself," Oshana told Newsweek during an interview with The Good Life.

Oshana has rewatched the show many times, but first began noticing deeper psychological themes while studying to become a therapist and later revisiting the series during her own healing journey.

"As I moved forward in terms of my own healing and doing my own work, as I rewatched the show, I started to see new perspectives and things that I was relating to on a deeper level that I didn’t pick up on before," she said.

The book explores communication styles, emotional patterns, change, loss, relationships and attachment styles-with the goal of helping readers better understand themselves and move toward healthier patterns and relationships.

If you've spent time in the self-help or relationship space, you've likely heard or read about attachment styles. If you fall into anxious, avoidant or disorganized attachment patterns, Oshana explains that you can work toward becoming more secure.

"The more secure you become, you automatically or organically get drawn to partners that can also provide you that security," Oshana said. "Instead of fighting for what you deserve, you come into the relationship knowing what you deserve."

She also uses examples from the show to help readers recognize their own tendencies, whether it's Monica’s Type A personality or Chandler’s habit of avoiding emotions through humor. Oshana said comfort shows like Friends resonate deeply because familiarity "brings us a sense of home," particularly during stressful or uncertain periods in life.

While Friends is known for its humor, Oshana said writing the book also required her to reflect on her own struggles, including the physiological impact of suppressing emotions. She discusses a physical diagnosis she received and how emotional work became part of her healing process.

"This is something actually we see a lot of nowadays, especially with autoimmune diseases and other, you know, other diseases in the body," she said. "And that is a component that I really wanted to shed some light on. A lot of times people go and they’re so convinced that it’s all physical, and neglect or dismiss that there might be an emotional part to it."

Oshana said she hopes readers walk away feeling curious about themselves - questioning why they think a certain way or continue dating certain types of people.

"I hope that there’s this spark… something that prompts readers to believe: I deserve to learn more about myself," she said.

"I hope they feel hopeful, that they’re not broken, that they don’t need any kind of fixing," she added. "A lot of things are retrainable. And you can change things up for yourself if you want to."

The One Where We Grow: What Our Favorite Sitcom Reveals About Us is now available online or on Amazon.

You can follow Benita Oshana on Instagram and learn more about therapy services on her website.

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This story was originally published May 22, 2026 at 11:41 AM.