Funny Business

Sunrise in Raleigh
Sunrise in Raleigh

Blogging is a funny business.

The point is to be honest and real, to put yourself out there, while offering quality content.

People who don’t adhere to the basic rules of blogging aren’t very successful. Even those who do can have a hard time making a living.

For me, I write what I feel.

I write what I think.

I write what I know.

I put it all together, and then I go back and try to make it pretty with proper sentences and good grammar.

But on a day like today, everything I’ve written has been too thoughtful and real, and I have to be careful who’s reading. The work looked pretty enough, commas in the right place and all. But the inside was a little bit too raw.

Divorce is a funny business.

The point is to get through it and to find yourself again. To regain whatever you lost. Sometimes you wonder if they’ll ever wake up and realize what they lost. What a dummy, you think. I was a really great catch.

Being a blogger that writes about divorce is about as funny a business as there is.

What I really want to tell you is that I’m working hard to be the best mom I can be, and that in the deepest part of my being I feel sure that I’ll land on my financial feet, even if some have opinions to the contrary. What I know at this very moment is that after working all day on two really proficient posts, being reminded that my words could be used against me was enough to turn me to toast.

So sad, isn’t it?

For perfectly good words to be shelved, never to see the light of day from behind someone else’s laptop screen.

So with two insightful, prettily-put-together blog posts made of completely wasted time, I sit and look at a blinking cursor wondering if today’s just not my day.

We all have days like that. Don’t we?

When we’re not sure how we feel.

When we worry that what we think isn’t right.

When we don’t really know what we think we know.

Maybe sleep is the answer.

Maybe a night of dreaming will propel lightness in waking. Tomorrow will better. The sun’ll come out tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar.

Being a writer is a funny business.

You have deadlines.

And sometimes, this is the best you can do.