Chaos always erupts when you are either naked or in a yoga pose

It never fails. Whether I’m naked or in a downward-dog position (not at the same time, I might add), then life around me always erupts in chaos. 

All I really want is a hot shower and a 30-minute yoga routine uninterrupted. I’m beginning to think that goal is not within reach for this middle-aged mama. 

In fact, I did the math, and the odds haven’t looked good. I have been interrupted 2,290 times in the past eight years. OK. We’ll be lenient on the yoga, but hot, uninterrupted showers should be the norm for a 45-year-old. 

My children can be perfect angels for hours at a time, and the minute I tell them I’m going to shower or exercise, it’s like code for them to act like monkeys who just escaped from the zoo. 

Something always happens. Always! They fight. They scream. They annoy each other. They decide they are hungry just as you take off your last stitch of clothing and step inside what should be bliss.

 Or better yet, the youngest decides to go to the bathroom and needs her bottom wiped right then. 

That happens more times than I like to count. 

Nothing like a 4-year-old walking up the stairs with her pants down to her ankles screaming, “Mama, I’m ready to wipe,” to ruin the serenity. 

In all honesty, if my son were an only child, then I think he’s at the age that I could get away with these little luxuries during the day on most occasions. 

He gets so wrapped up in electronics that we have to remind ourselves that he’s actually in the house, and we then need to remind him to “get a life” and get unplugged. 

It’s the 4-year-old who yells “mama” most during the day and even at the most inopportune times. 

I know many of you in that age range of 36 to 39 who have elementary-aged kids are shaking your head and being a little smug thinking, “Been there, done that. I’m so glad I’m over that phase.”

Be careful. You can still get pregnant at 40.