Moms

You Gotta Have Friends

It turns out that the myth of a rebound love, the one that comes right after the big breakup of a marriage or a long-term relationship, is an actual, factual thing. When you find yourself involved in that first relationship after bravely re-entering the dating scene, there’s no way (no how) that this great person who made you feel the pings and pangs of that forgotten thing called “intimate love” could possibly be a temporary fix. You have to believe that the whole darned thing is real. When it proves itself to be a blip on life’s big screen, the mythology becomes reality. 

 

Mythology. What a bore. 

 

As I licked what turned out to be surface wounds from my own recent rebound, I did what any writer girl would do in the same situation… write! Purging from my heart the last bits of pain, and taking the advice of Dr. Wayne Dyer who says, “If you have anything other than love in your heart, you’ve got to get it out.” He’s absolutely correct.

 

When I finished, hitting publish on a piece titled Wound Licking Sing Song, I immediately felt better when from around every corner came my girlfriends, arms opened wide.

 

First came the call from up North in Maine. “Awww sweetie,” she said. “I’m going through it, too!”

 

Next came an email from my elementary school bestie whom I haven’t seen in twenty-six long years, checking in to make sure I was okay. 

 

A text from my soul sister blogging partner, and one from my pre-school playground buddy both saying, “Hey you. I’m here!” 

 

A call from my sister-cousin helped me to look forward by reminding me of our summer plans and her unquestioning confidence in my ability to bounce back. 

 

And so on. And so forth.

 

The immeasurable love and support from female friends, more powerful than any quickie romance.

 

Two days after this year’s Christmas I travelled to Iowa to visit my sister, the very first night spent at Vinny’s for cocktails with her oldest and dearest girls. What started with pensive introductions to strangers turned into a night of so much laughter I almost peed in my pants (more than once); the hours with those ladies turned out to be so rich in girl power I wanted to write a blog post about it then. But as happens sometimes, other writing (life) got in the way. 

 

So this morning, as I sat to put together this week’s perspective on life as a single mom just trying to find her way there (seriously… are we there yet?) it seemed right to give all girlfriends, yours and mine, their props.

 

You’ve gotta have friends. And those friendships need to be nurtured. 

 

Because when it all falls down they’re the ones to remind you that you’re loved when you need to feel it most, setting you solidly upright back where you belong. 

 

XOM

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