It’s been a few weeks since I’ve had a seat at the laptop, keyboard bashing out a post about the things that are happening in my life.
Part of the delay has been my very real, visceral aversion to old school blogging where the focus is all on me, me, me. Those days are waning, as the Internet is overwrought with content that isn’t quality, one click goodbye. Many of us, we bloggers, started with first person journaling, and there was real value in it at the time.
The other conundrum, having been so darned busy living this new life as “single-mom no longer living with her mom,” is that I’ve been left without the motivation to regurgitate the details. Living in the present has been exciting and exhausting, liberating and scary. And I haven’t felt this happy in years. Who can stop to write about life when you’re immersed in it so fully?
As my fellow writer and editor Stacy reminded me when I emailed her to say, “I… just… can’ttttt publish this weeeeek,” sometimes you just have to go small when it comes to what you’ll write. Sometimes it’s okay if you can’t get it together. Sometimes you’re not going to finger tap a piece that’s going to change the world.
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This, of course, is one of the biggest head scratchers of every writer’s right-brained thoughts. Does any of this even matter? Are these just wasted words? Why should anyone care?
But since we started this blog to document the journey from married to un, it’s important to note that in the past few weeks there’s been more change than in all of the time that’s led up to this recent burst of activity. If it was up to me, me, me, I’d live and love and write about it when I was moved to do so.
But I’m a writer who’s building a career, born with that urge to get it out in words, dedicating myself to more than a nighttime journaling of each day’s events.
So, I’m still the game, though it’s been awfully quiet in Word.
Soon, I suspect, when the dust settles all around me long enough to need a good dusting, I’m certain I’ll want to write my name in it and then find a way to share my perspective in a way that I’ll feel certain will matter.
Good, bad, and slow-writing weeks in between, the goals remain the same; be a good mom, a good person, live in the present, with fingers at the keys.