State employees dismayed and angered over the way Dana Cope allegedly spent their dues are being short-sighted, failing to see the big picture. Sure, Cope, who resigned last Tuesday as head of the union representing state employees and retirees, appears to have spent their money profligately, prettifying his yard and profiling at Broadway shows, but they have to acknowledge one thing: The dude’s eyebrows were flawless.
When Cope, who’d led the State Employees Association of North Carolina for 15 years, strode to the podium and admitted that he’d blurred some lines presumably between the union’s moolah and his own, his eyebrows were stunning.
There was nothing blurred about those bad boys.
Closely examining dudes’ faces is not something I make a habit of, but Cope’s eyebrows commanded attention – and demanded an explanation – after we read in The N&O that among the charges Cope billed to SEANC was one for eyebrow waxing.
Far from being excoriated for paying such attention to his grooming, Cope should be lauded, emulated, even. By a show of hands, ladies: How many of you would love it if your man did something about those bushy-bushy brows – and trimmed those nose and ear forests while he was it it?
No one can excuse Cope’s paying $57 of state employees’ money – and he’d better have left a tip, lest he make all state employees look bad – on getting his eyebrows done, but at an age when hair begins to recede on men’s heads and sprout Chia Pet-style from other areas, you’ve got to give him credit for caring.
He did it for you
Sure, SEANC employees are ticked off now, but imagine how irked they’d be had Cope traveled to Las Vegas and other places with shaggy eyebrows and baggy clothes.
So remember, guys: He did it for you. (That, at least, may be his strategy if this thing ends up in front of a judge.)
Cope was allowed to turn the union’s dues into his personal piggy bank only because SEANC’s executive board of directors was lax in its oversight. An N&O editorial last week correctly noted that “the board that should have been overseeing him has had its eyes closed.”
When the SBI begins its investigation and seeks to determine if board members were simply lax or in cahoots with Cope, they should begin by looking at their eyebrows: any board member whose brows are impeccable may have been in league with the now-deposed leader.
Speaking of Broadway plays, the greatest one an American has ever written is “Death of a Salesman,” in which the woebegone protagonist yearns to make it through life “on a smile and a shoeshine.”
Cope, conversely, seemed to think that a scowl – augmented by a combative attitude – and impeccably waxed eyebrows were all one needed to win friends and influence legislators.
Not these guys. Cope could have baked cookies for the GOP-led legislature and still would’ve made negligible headway in bringing current and retired state employees’ issues to the fore.
With unions under attack nationwide by emboldened politicians – and many members too young to remember what life was like before unions – the last thing an organization supposedly representing workers needs is to have at its helm a combative leader who is now besmirched by claims that he was reckless with its money.
No matter how captivating his eyebrows are.
You know the thousands of dollars Cope apparently spent on landscaping at his home?
Wouldn’t it have been cheaper and more eco-friendly had he just hired some goats to graze?
He actually could’ve asked the executive board to do it, since its members may end up being the goats in this mess, anyway.