Those darned gays.
Looks like they got another one, huh?
After most-holy and righteous reality TV star Josh Duggar was outed as a dues-paying member of the cheating website Ashley Madison, the world – or at least that teensy, weensy part of the world that gives a rat’s toenail about what he does and says – braced for his inevitable denunciation of gays.
As executive director of the Family Research Council’s lobbying arm, Duggar made a handsome living excoriating gays’ lifestyle as “a threat to traditional marriage... Our family,” he proclaimed, “is like the epitome of conservative values.”
Oy. Because his family and he had ridden their disdain for gays – and obviously birth control – to riches, a hit TV show (“19 Crumbsnatchers and Counting”) and political influence, why wouldn’t he continue riding that same horse and blame them for his transgressions?
Duggar fooled everyone though, blaming his current predicament on – get this – himself. He admitted that he has been “the biggest hypocrite ever.” When one looks at his two Ashley Madison accounts and the May admission that he’d sexually abused young girls – including his sisters – you could conclude that was a fair self-assessment.
With millions and millions served and news that hackers have released names of the cheating website’s clients, odds are great that everyone knows someone who knows someone who was on Ashley Madison – on her website, that is – even if they only visited it that one time when their finger slipped while searching the Internet for a lowfat baklava recipe.
There are, in this world, no absolutes.
Okay, one: whenever Sweet Thang starts a conversation with “We need to talk,” you know nothing good is fixing to follow. Before she even gets to the next stanza, just tell Rover to move over, because you’re going to be bunking with him for awhile.
That goes double if, in the same conversation, the name “Ashley Madison” arises.
I called a few area law firms to see if they were bracing for a tsunami of named plaintiffs citing Ashley Madison madness. The receptionist of one Raleigh law firm specializing in divorces was hopeful. “I said to my husband this morning ‘It looks like we’re about to get very busy,’” she said.
Although she said “the floodgates haven’t opened” as a result of the security breach, Lori Vitale of Vitale Family Law in Raleigh told me Friday, “I have already had clients who had seen that their spouses had registered there.” Despite that, she said, “As a human being who is married, and not necessarily as a divorce lawyer, I don’t think finding your spouse’s name on that website is going to drive you directly to a divorce lawyer. It may drive you to a counselor.”
To someone like Bryce Kaye, Ph.D., most likely. I asked the Cary psychologist and marriage counselor, whose wife and he take couples on sailing excursions – love odysseys – for counseling, if someone who has been on the site should ’fess up to Sweet Thang or Big Sugar (some studies show women do the hanky panky at about the same rate as men) or just wait to see if their indiscretion comes out in the wash. Or on the web.
“Instead of just blurting it out to their partner, they should see this as a wake-up call that something’s wrong... and go talk to a marriage counselor first,” he said. Kaye talked about the science behind cheating and used a lot of words you’d need a Ph.D. to understand, but he broke it down by saying that most of the people seeking outside loving are not just seeking “‘humps and bumps.’ Some want the reflected glory, the pride” that they feel comes from the other person.
Releasing the names of anonymous schmoes who may have strayed or visited the site out of curiosity – wink, wink – is a punk move by the hackers.
Still, few people not named Duggar are going to begrudge them for exposing Josh’s mean hypocrisy or that of others who make a living sanctimoniously judging others.
To almost quote a biblical passage “Verily I say unto you, before you judge the website in someone else’s eye, be sure to remove the blog on your own website’s server.”