When it comes to your watch party, brush up on your types of snackers
During the NCAA basketball tournament, the Super Bowl, or the Stanley Cup playoffs, win/loss records, strength-of-schedule and such are of no help with most important matter, in handling the most crucial issue for fans parked on sofas all across this great land.
That is: game-time snacking.
If you get invited to watch a game at a friend’s house, you need to know what kind of snack-ortunities you’ll have once you get there. Rather than be left wondering, here’s a field guide to snackers.
The Minimalist
Telltale snacks: Bag of chips and jar of salsa, cheese slices offered directly from the package.
This host would rather be watching “Victoria” instead of trying to please a significant other by feigning interest in basketball, but one does what one must. At some point, the host will vanish and no one will notice, which is true for the food, too. Eat before you go.
The Traditionalist
Telltale snacks: Cold box of takeout wings, light beer.
This host believes that just as every Thanksgiving dinner must have turkey and green bean casserole, every basketball game must be viewed in the company of soggy fast-food wings and beer that tastes like the players’ sweat. To do otherwise is un-American. Bring Tums.
The Fair-Weather Feeder
Telltale snacks: Might be nothing. Might be a deli’s worth of delights.
This host is capable of offering a feast fit for the basketball gods, but it hangs on the fate of his/her beloved team. As long as they keep winning, the homemade treats will keep coming and coming. If they lose, the kitchen will be shut down and the host will ponder his/her fate in hungry misery. If only they’d hit that three-pointer, there’d be juicy roast beef…
The Theme-a-saurus
Telltale snacks: Anything that will absorb food coloring
For this host, it’s not enough to have plates, cups, napkins, dog sweaters, garden gnomes, socks, shirts, hats and underwear in team colors – the food should be patriotically hued, too. However, since he/she lacks awareness of basic color theory (yellow and blue make green, and so forth), the spread becomes a scientific study in how we really do eat – or don’t, as the color may be – with our eyes. Bring dark glasses.
The Feasting Fan
Telltale snacks: What doesn’t this host have? And you can smell the goodness a mile away.
This host knows KenPom isn’t a breed of dog, can demonstrate pick-and-rolls with his/her spouse during timeouts, and wlll make sausage balls even for the play-in games – that don’t include his/her favorite team. The TV is always on and something good is around to snack on as this host flips between channels on numerous viewing devices.
For this host, March Madness is Christmas, Purim and Mardi Gras rolled into a three-week (basket)ball, and he/she feasts accordingly. The wings are freshly roasted. The guacamole is hand-mashed. You know the quality of the food affects the outcome of the game, right? Take no chances.
Debbie Moose is a freelance food writer and cookbook author. She can be reached at debbiemoose.com, Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.
Wings, Mole Ole style
Wings from a box will never a winning team make. Make these easy wings instead, from my book “Wings: More Than 50 High-Flying Recipes for America’s Favorite Snack.”
1/2 cup chili powder
2 teaspoons cocoa
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
12 wings, cut in half at joints, wing tips removed and discarded
1/4 cup olive oil
In a small bowl, combine the chili powder, cocoa, salt, cinnamon, cayenne, black pepper, cumin and garlic powder.
Place the wings in a resealable plastic bag. Pour in the olive oil and shake to coat the wings. Pour in the rub mix and shake again to coat the wings. Let sit for 15 to 20 minutes
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Cover a rimmed baking sheet with foil and spray the foil with nonstick cooking spray. Place the wings on the baking sheet and cook for 20 to 25 minutes or until done, turning the wings over about halfway through the cooking time.
Yield: Makes 24 pieces
This story was originally published March 26, 2019 at 12:22 PM with the headline "When it comes to your watch party, brush up on your types of snackers."