The Right Thing: When 'my Uber is waiting' isn't true

Is it wrong to leave a place by telling the host you have an Uber waiting if you simply want to leave?

A reader we're calling Janice has noticed that people are increasingly using a new excuse when they want to leave a gathering. Rather than simply telling the host they have to get going, that it's a work night, or that they have an early morning ahead, it's not uncommon for guests to say "My Uber is waiting" as a way to make a quick exit. Janice wonders whether this shift is harmless shorthand for "I'm ready to leave," or whether it crosses an ethical line when it's just an excuse.

The Uber line works because it's efficient and discourages any pleas from the host to stay a little longer. Few hosts want to be responsible for making you miss your ride. With the Uber excuse, the guest signals that the decision to leave has already been made, closing the door on negotiation.

But what if the "Uber is waiting" line isn't true? Is this simply a white lie meant to ease a social interaction, or is it a serious lapse in honesty?

If you've actually ordered a ride and it's waiting outside, there's no deception. But if you haven't, the statement becomes a convenient fiction. It may seem harmless. Most hosts care less about your reason for leaving than that you take a moment to thank them and say goodbye. But it's still an unnecessary untruth, offered in place of something simpler and more direct.

There are many honest alternatives to achieve the same goal without lying. A simple "I've had a great time, but I'm going to head out," or "I need to call it a night," makes your appreciation clear while also making it clear you are going to leave. There's no need to tell a host you're bored or eager to escape. Courtesy doesn't require that level of candor. But neither does it require inventing a reason when a straightforward one will do.

Being dishonest can affect our ability to be straightforward in how we communicate. Why lie when being honest is a simple option? If we begin to tell small lies because it's convenient to do so, it becomes too easy to see lying as an acceptable option in how we deal with other people.

Being direct, while still being kind, signals respect. It suggests you trust your host to accept your departure without needing a specific justification or an invented detail. Most hosts are unlikely to be offended by a gracious thank you followed by a simple statement that it's time for you to go.

It may be more convenient to say your Uber is waiting. But unless it actually is, the right thing is to be honest about your need to leave, expressed as politely as you can.

Janice's observation highlights an increasingly common choice guests face. When we want to leave, we can rely on easy excuses, or we can choose simple honesty. How we respond can define how we choose to communicate with others and ultimately the type of person we hope to be.

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This story was originally published May 26, 2026 at 4:11 AM.