Gov. Cooper serves up corny ‘dad jokes’ as he spares two NC Thanksgiving turkeys
One plump but lucky pair of turkeys escaped a gravy-soaked fate Monday as Gov. Roy Cooper spared them in a final act of mercy.
Only one condition applied:
Endure 5 minutes of Thanksgiving-themed Dad jokes.
“Every year, you want me to stop, but I cannot just quit cold turkey,” said the governor, launching into a string of eye-rolling puns. “Some of these jokes might seem a little corny, but you ain’t seen stuffing yet.”
No telling whether Ethel and Bertha, weighing 26 and 28 pounds respectively, considered their salvation worth the barrage of Cooper’s gags.
Only 23 weeks old, they may require the rest of their lives at Naylor Family Farms in Harnett County to recover from their joke-induced trauma.
“I cran go on and on about all the things I am thankful for because North Carolina is just stuffed,” Cooper continued. “We squash all expectations. Last but not yeast, we finally expanded Medicaid last year...”
In rare moments of seriousness, the governor praised Prestage Farms, Ethel and Bertha’s birthplace, for providing 3,000 turkey breasts for families in Western North Carolina still suffering from Hurricane Helene.
But the turkeys pecked and gobbled around their haystack on the Governor’s Mansion lawn, Cooper enjoyed a final flourish on his last days in office — complete with a double knee-slapper.
“After eight years,” he said, “it’s time for me to spread my wings and fly the coop.”