This Christmas, we’ve never been more connected — but farther apart.

Two of my favorite quotes from the Most Rev. Michael Curry are part of homilies included in his new book, “The Power of Love.”

“If it’s not about love, then it’s not about God,” he preached at his installation as presiding bishop and primate of the Episcopal Church.

And at this summer’s General Convention, Bishop Curry said, “…I’m convinced that the opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is selfishness, and hatred is a derivative of selfishness.”

I have heard him share similar thoughts in North Carolina, to groups as small as 40 or 50, where he preached with the same vision and conviction that an infinitely larger audience witnessed in his homily at the Royal Wedding. I was once at a service with the Episcopal Campus Ministry in Raleigh when a passerby from the street wandered in to join students gathered in the small chapel, drawn by the force of the bishop’s preaching as it resonated through the open windows.

His book arrives just as we who call ourselves Christians have entered the season of Advent, awaiting the one who is love in human form, even as we seem increasingly disinclined to see the humanity in each other.

In what should be a time of watchful anticipation, we are hurrying toward Christmas and all the busyness that comes with it. Thrown into the mix are the confluence of politics and social media, along with the technology that reinforces and sustains both. We have never been more connected but farther apart.

Which may be why it feels like love is having a hard time showing itself these days. We care about our families and our friends, but the kind of love many faiths call us to goes far beyond that. It extends to the stranger, to the vulnerable, to those who may not look like us but are still our siblings.

As the poet Elizabeth Alexander writes,

“What if the mightiest word is love?

Love beyond marital, filial, national,

love that casts a widening pool of light,

love with no need to pre-empt grievance.”

From a place of love, we cannot deny the basics of survival to others; in its absence, we become entrenched in fear and scarcity. We can see that selfishness Bishop Curry warns us about in big ways which feel overwhelming — like the demonizing of entire groups of people. But we also live it in our inability as individuals to look people in the eye because we’re afraid they might ask us for something or our unwillingness to admit that we’ve been wrong because we fear it will make us appear weak.

In community and in the body politic, love manifests as compassion, empathy, justice, and grace. If we are living as we are supposed to, there is neither satisfaction nor celebration when the vulnerable suffer. We speak up when it matters about the things that matter. Infinitely less important than whether someone wishes Merry Christmas or happy holidays is how they treat other human beings.

Focusing on Christmas is not meant to ignore our siblings of other faiths, but as one of the wisest people I ever worked with used to say, we Christians have plenty to work on among ourselves. May we use this season of Advent to truly prepare ourselves for the coming of Christ by aspiring to love one another and to show that love through our choices, words and actions.

This story was originally published December 7, 2018 at 4:10 PM.