We lost a son to police gunfire. We hope these protests will bring a change.
Everyday we miss our son, La’Vante Biggs. We miss his laugh, the way he smells, everything about him. We miss his grandma fussing at him and his aunt calling him “big head.”
As his mother, every time I remember a good memory of him, I have to relive the memory of his dying after being shot by Durham police officers on Sept. 5, 2015. Here’s what happened: My son, who was 21, was acting suicidal and holding a gun to his head, so I called 911 for help. Then I turned around to see 23 police officers, many pointing their guns at him on the porch. He put the gun down three times. They did nothing to answer his cries for help. Then, I watched him fall from police gunfire. We later learned from the media that it was a non lethal air gun.
This was unimaginable to me until it happened to me. Even more so, I think about how hard it is for his dad, Tyrone, our protector. He was a block away and on the phone, so could hear when the shooting started, realizing right then he may never see his son again.
Over the years since, we have thought the only way things will change is if something really drastic happened. Then we heard about the death of George Floyd. We still can’t bring ourselves to watch the video. We watch the crowds of people calling for justice for his death, as they should.
We, too, are angry. We are outraged. This has been going on far too long. We ask, too, where were the protesters when this all was happening before? Why so long?
We are glad these injustices are coming to the forefront, and glad to see that people who are just waking up to the problem are marching alongside those who have been in this fight for a long time. We welcome them.
We understand people saying that they can’t believe these things happen. If you live in a community where the police are not harassing you every day, like they do in the places where our friends and family live, then maybe it is hard to believe. We hope and pray that no longer will it take a video to make people believe or to seek justice.
No police officer was ever charged for the killing of our son La’Vante. Some days, because of this, we feel like we failed him. On other days, we know we helped achieve some justice for other families. We spoke out against the former district attorney who refused to bring any charges. Thankfully, Durham did not re-elect him. We are thankful for others, like then-city councilman and now Mayor Steve Schewel, who stood with us during that time, coming to vigils, showing he cared. Even though we wish he had done more, we appreciated that he showed up for us every time we asked.
We are glad people are marching, and we need them to stay in the fight for the long haul. They can help us change this system that killed our son. We need them to help change the decision makers and help change the decisions they make.
Right now, the community and Durham have the chance to continue this fight. The city of Durham is considering increasing the funding to its police department. This is not the answer. Instead, increase funding for mental health awareness. There are so many people in communities that are harmed and killed by daily interactions with the police or the jail. These people and communities are the ones who need more money, not the police.
I am La’Vante’s mom, and it has taken me until 2020 to get through the day without blaming myself for calling 911 that day. We are still healing – smiling a little more, laughing a little more, remembering the good things a little more than we used to. But, we just miss him.
I am La’Vante’s dad, and everyday we still wonder why? We still cannot make sense of it. His life affected so many people.
We hope what’s happening now is not just a fad. We hope it shines a light on a very serious situation that’s been going on for years and years, and that this could be a turning point so that no one ever has to lose a father, son, daughter, sister or, loved one in the way that we did.