Parenting based on a Rocky movie maybe was a bad idea. But a tradition was born | Opinion

I’ve never read any child development books, not because I’m an especially instinctive parent to my five children. I just kept my eyes and ears open throughout action movies of my late-Cold-War-era childhood. That was enough.

Submarine classic “The Hunt for Red October” was a font of learning. I learned evasion tactics like releasing countermeasures and turning into the torpedo are equally effective when dealing with teenagers in rhetorical hot pursuit.

Frankly, if parenting books had promising titles like “Turn Into The Torpedo” or “Crazy Ivan” — the latter an imagined paean to the merits of never becoming too predictable to your children — I’d have devoured them. But these books were never written.

As my life confirms, if you’re willing to learn from your surroundings, then teachable moments are practically everywhere. Alas, I discovered this philosophy’s limits in Cold-War film classic “Rocky IV,” which was released 39 years ago this month.

I traveled frequently for work when my kids were young. I’d call home around dinnertime and ask them about their days. When Molly, my now-22-year-old daughter, was beginning fourth grade, these conversations focused mostly on schoolwork. This was no accident.

Fourth grade was when I first stared down long division, that strange voodoo which in early adolescence snuffed out my mental pilot light. So spooked was I by long division that I had nary a scholastic thought again until high school. I didn’t want that for my eldest daughter.

All of this was on my heart during our fateful conversation. “I think I’m ready for my math test tomorrow,” Molly said anxiously into the telephone.

I was glad not to be there in person. She’d have seen the fear on my face and panicked even more.

Knowing she wasn’t ready but seeking encouragement from her old man, also not a mathlete, I played it safe and gave her general, and what I thought was figurative, nerve-calming instruction.

“There’s only one way to know for sure,” I began. “When you’re ready call out ‘Drago’ three times, like Rocky did on the mountaintop.”

She’d seen “Rocky IV” enough times to know this was what the Italian Stallion did when it was time to face Ivan Drago, his Soviet nemesis, in the ring.

“In the silence that follows,” I assured, “you’ll know whether you’re ready.”

Molly giggled and said goodbye to get ready for bed. About ninety minutes later Devin, my wife, called.

“What on earth did you tell Molly?” she asked. Devin sounded like she’d been awakened from the sleep of the just by a leaf blower deployed at her bedside.

“I told her to yell Drago’s name three times when she was done studying,” I answered. “You know, motivation for her test, rising up to the challenge of her rival and all that. It was a metaphor.”

Then came Devin’s short reply. “Not to her.”

After our chat, Molly had left the dining room where she studied and climbed the staircase. At the top, she screamed “Drago” three times, once for each of her younger siblings roused from slumber.

Yelling “Drago” is now a family joke, something Molly and I enjoy doing to signal readiness to accept a challenge. Devin finds the ritual less amusing.

Is “Rocky IV” a great movie? Certainly. Is it a historical allegory for then-regnant geopolitics? Again, certainly. Is it a fruitful metaphor for good parenting? Almost certainly not.

This story was originally published November 19, 2024 at 5:00 AM with the headline "Parenting based on a Rocky movie maybe was a bad idea. But a tradition was born | Opinion."