June Thames: Joining the elite club

Regarding the Nov. 10 column “Done. Over. He’s here. Goodbye.”: Wow! I am switching to the Democratic Party. I never realized to be an “elitist” all someone had to be was a registered Democrat.

I never realized I should not visit the library, attend the opera, and I guess I must not attend and support the N.C. Symphony anymore. I must give up traveling abroad and in the U.S., give up my Jane Austen books as I am not an elitist and should not be enjoying these different venues.

I don’t drink beer but will go buy a six-pack as supposedly all nonelitists do this, guess I’ll have to buy an RV to put my six-pack in, and, oh yes, go out and shoot some spotted owls.

Wow, Garrison Keillor, thanks for giving me the definition of an elitist.

I am going to start making my own pasta, next summer, plant some heirloom tomatoes and start practicing yoga. I am part way to being an elitist as I do enjoy bird watching from my sunroom.

Please Garrison, tell me some other things I need to do to be termed an “elitist.” For 70-plus years I have missed out and don’t want to waste the remainder of my years as a nonelitist.

I want to become a snob and narrow-minded so I can be an elitist just like him.

This story was originally published November 17, 2016 at 5:32 PM with the headline "June Thames: Joining the elite club."