Lawrence Evans: Dream scenario

If, decades ago, the state Supreme Court told us it’s OK to spend taxpayer money on private schools without regulations about curriculum or religious discrimination, I might have quit my job to start a private school so as to rake in some of that money. It’s too late now, but I dream about what I might have done.

The school would be called White Lily Christian Academy. Its mission statement consists of things parents need not fear:

▪ Their kids will be safe from diversity. Other students will look just like them, except for a few chosen to keep the anti-discrimination cops away.

▪ Science teachers will be discreet. Evidence that the earth is 4.5 billion years old will never cross their lips. Evidence that the species, including humans, evolved by natural selection will be suppressed. If students believe dinosaurs walked with humans on a 6,000-year-old earth, we will not disabuse them.

▪ Nothing will be said about sex that makes parents uncomfortable. Birth control will never be mentioned.

The logo would have been a combination of the Cross of Jesus and a white lily, the fleur de lis of the Bourbon dynasty. Let them eat banana cream pie.

This story was originally published August 1, 2015 at 2:00 PM with the headline "Lawrence Evans: Dream scenario."