Mirra’s suicide illustrates tragedy of ‘if-only’ deaths

I think a lot about death. I have thought about death from an early age and am now an emergency physician. Maybe ironic, but regardless, death remains a topic I frequently contemplate.

For some, death is a welcome light at the end of the proverbial dark tunnel, where respite awaits. These are the old, frail and suffering. They are ready, having lived a life satisfactorily. For them, I wish a quick and painless exit from this life.

On a less frequent basis, I meet “the unfortunates.” These are the unlucky ones, who do everything right, but for whatever reason find their lives cut short. These are the cancers that slowly eat away hope in the young and otherwise healthy. It may be the pulmonary embolism that suffocates a life, suddenly and unexpectedly. I wonder to myself, “How can life be so cruel?” I may cry. Then I hope, with all my might, those closest to me are spared the same fate.

The ones that rattle me, down to my core, are the “if onlys.” They are too often victims of ignorance, dysfunctional systems or a lack of fail-safes. “If onlys” are too often preventable. They cause terrible grief, followed by a raw anger fueled by the senselessness of it all. There are no silver linings.

It seems callous to analyze, but more than ever, this is when we must take an honest look at what we can do as a people to help save these lives. Hindsight is 20/20, so why not use it to help prevent other lives lost? Maybe not lives as publicly remarkable as Dave Mirra’s, but maybe your father’s or your best friend’s or your own.

The suicide of Dave Mirra, an icon in the world of BMX, struck me at my core. I didn’t know him personally, but being a Greenville, N.C., native, I knew of him and how positively he affected the community. It’s clear Mirra lived with determination. He lived through a head injury after being struck by a drunk driver. He lived through a liver laceration resulting from a bike crash. He lived through bacterial meningitis. He had a will to live, probably stronger than most, which he demonstrated over and over again. And not just to live, but to thrive.

Mirra always made it back onto his bike. He, of all people, was not a quitter. I couldn’t imagine he would give up on much of anything, most of all his life. And with all he had going for him, why would he?

If you read closely, sprinkled within the Mirra tributes and obituaries, are “if only” statements. After the grief and anger become bearable, shouldn’t we strive to change the “if onlys” into better endings? There are issues here, namely depression and the oft-loathed “gun control.” I’m begging for a collective open mind. Awareness and accountability are powerful tools that can be demanded by the people for the people to ensure safe, healthy communities.

Depression affects millions of Americans, yet is a diagnosis cast with shame. The resources for those suffering, but brave enough to seek help, are limited. Acceptance and support are lacking where needs are great. Regarding gun control, I won’t belabor with statistics, but suicide rates drop significantly when guns don’t permeate society. Hard stop. Guns are intended to kill, and they keep killing good people. This is a public health crisis, not a partisan issue.

Whether Dave Mirra suffered from depression, or specifically chronic traumatic encephalopathy, is not clear. What is evident is that a deep sadness led Mirra to take his full life in a single impulse, leaving him with no fighting chance.

I cannot help but wonder: “If only” talking openly about depression were more acceptable, “if only” support had been more available, “if only” guns were not so accessible would Dave Mirra once again have found the will to live after arriving home to his wife and daughters? Knowing what I do about him, quite possibly.

Senseless “if only” deaths are tragic, infuriating. They should incite action to honor those lost, but more importantly, they should incite action to save those still living.

This story was originally published February 13, 2016 at 1:00 PM with the headline "Mirra’s suicide illustrates tragedy of ‘if-only’ deaths."