Bowl season from Allen (Josh) to Zaccheaus (Olamide): Enjoy the (mostly) meaningless pigskin merriment

Bowl season, for all its faults, is still the best.

Sure, the format is flawed and more players are unwilling to risk injury in a meaningless game. And the “Group of 5” conferences really should have their own playoff and there are too many games in Alabama but you’re looking at the glass the wrong way.

It’s half-full, not half-empty, my football friends. We still have the convoluted sponsor names – including an unbelievable newcomer in Boca Raton this year – the gadget plays and the general bowl reverie.

So get in the holiday/bowl spirit and buckle up for Famous Idaho Bowl and, everyone’s favorite, the Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl (thrilla in Gasparilla, anyone?)

Your guide to the 2017 bowl season, from A to Z:

A Allen (Josh). You can impress all of your NFL friends when you drop some scouting knowledge before the draft about the rocket-armed Wyoming quarterback. Allen leads the Cowboys against Central Michigan in the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl on Dec. 22.

B Braxton Berrios. The Miami receiver, from Leesville Road, doesn’t have to go far for the bowl game. The Canes will host Wisconsin in the Orange Bowl on Dec. 30. It’s Miami’s first major bowl trip as an ACC member and first since its last to the Orange after the 2003 season.

C Cheribundi Tart Cherry Boca Raton Bowl. Make room, Poulan Weed-Eater and USF&G, in the bowl sponsor hall of fame. The New York juice maker skips the five-year mandatory waiting process and jumps right into the pantheon of greats.

That this game (on Dec. 19) features Akron, and former N.C. State coach Chuck Amato, all the better. Unfortunately for Amato, the Zips are a 22.5-point underdog to host team Florida Atlantic.

D Detroit or Duke. The Blue Devils take on Northern Illinois in the Quick Lane Bowl at Detroit’s Ford Field on Dec. 26. The last time Duke won consecutive bowl trips? The 1945 Sugar (over Alabama) and the 1955 Orange (over Nebraska).

E ESPN. The Worldwide Leader makes the bowl season go round. It will broadcast 31 games (and another four on ABC) over the next 22 days. Why? Last year’s Belk Bowl (4.96 million) had more viewers than most early-round NBA playoff games.

F Fisher (John James); better known as Jimbo. The former Florida State coach won’t be on the sidelines this bowl season, but he will be getting paid. His new 10-year deal with Texas A&M is worth $20,547 … a day.

G Gasparilla. Florida International doubled its win total in Butch Davis’ first season. Davis and the Panthers (8-4) get Temple in the Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl on Dec. 21 as the reward.

You’ll be disappointed to note, according to Google, Bad Boy Mowers is not affiliated with rap mogul Sean “Puffy” Combs or the Notorious B.I.G.

H Hines (Nyheim). “The Nightmare” ran for 1,040 yards in what amounts to 10 full games for N.C. State. The junior running back makes the Wolfpack offense go. N.C. State takes on Arizona State in the Sun Bowl on Dec. 29.

I Ike Lewis. The senior receiver (47 catches, 666 yards) leads Appalachian State into a bowl rematch with Toledo. The Apps toppled the Rockets, 31-28 last year in Montgomery, Ala. This game, the Dollar General Bowl, will be in Mobile (Dec. 23).

J Jacksonville, Fla. or Jackson, Lamar. This is the likely farewell for the Louisville junior quarterback, who’ll try to carry the Cardinals past Mississippi State in the TaxSlayer Bowl on Dec. 30.

K Kajireh. Javelin K. Guidry’s middle name. The Utah cornerback is the captain of the All-Name team. The Utes faceoff with West Virginia in the Heart of Dallas Bowl on Dec. 26.

Wyoming receiver Brinkley Jolly, who’ll bring some holiday joy to the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl on Dec. 22, leads the All-Name team offense. And no all-star team is complete without a kicker. Stanford’s Jet Toner takes those honors for the second straight year.

L Love (Bryce). If he wants, the Heisman Trophy runner-up from Wake Forest High can pad his crazy rushing stats (1,973 yards) with Stanford in the Alamo Bowl on Dec. 28 against TCU.

M Mayfield (Baker). Used to be rare for the Heisman Trophy winner to win the national title. The Oklahoma quarterback can join Jameis Winston (2013), Cam Newton (2010) and Mark Ingram (2009) as recent double-dippers.

N Newcomer. Rookie Oklahoma coach Lincoln Riley can do what only Larry Coker (2001, Miami) and Bennie Oosterbaan (1948, Michigan) have done before: win a national title in his first year as a head coach. The Sooners face Georgia in the Rose Bowl, the CFP semifinals, on Jan. 1.

O Outside looking in or Ohio State. The Big Ten champions, are relegated to the Cotton Bowl (vs. USC on Dec. 29) a year after sneaking into the playoff without winning its own Big Ten division.

Central Florida, the only unbeaten team (out of 128) in Division I-A, gets Auburn in the Peach Bowl as its consolation.

P Paul Finebaum. Nobody was happier when the SEC got two teams in the CFP than the garrulous ESPN personality. Just remember, as Finebaum or any SEC fan will remind you, it just means more in the SEC, except when they lose to the ACC. Then it doesn’t count.

Q Quarterbacks. USC’s Sam Darnold and UCLA’s Josh Rosen get a final game to put on tape before they are dissected 6 million ways before the NFL draft. USC gets Ohio State in the Cotton and UCLA faces Kansas State in the Cactus Bowl (Dec. 26).

R Renfrow (Hunter). Mr CFP? The junior receiver, a former walk-on, has five touchdown catches in four career playoff games with Clemson – and eight TDs in 30 regular-season games. The Tigers start their quest for a repeat in the Sugar Bowl against Alabama on Jan. 1.

S Smith (Roquan) and Smart (Kirby). Georgia’s not here without Smith, its star linebacker, or Smart, its second-year coach. The Dawgs rank in the top 3 in the country in scoring (13.2 points per game) and pass defense (158.3 yards per game).

T Trilogy. For the third straight year, Clemson and Alabama will meet in the CFP. The two teams split the first two games: Alabama won 45-40 in the 2015 title game while Clemson won 35-31 in the title game last season.

U Ulysees Gilbert III. The junior linebacker racked up some fine numbers (127 tackles) for Akron. Somehow, Florida Atlantic’s Azeez Al-Shaair (134 tackles) actually has him topped. The two will try to out-do each other in the chase for Cheribundi Tart Cherry glory.

V Vincent Smith. You might not remember the name but he’s the poor Michigan running back who made South Carolina defensive end Jadeveon Clowney famous. Clowney’s helmet-popping tackle of Smith came in the Outback Bowl in 2013. The Wolverines and Gamecocks meet again in Tampa on Jan. 1.

W Wolford (John) or Wake Forest. The Demon Deacons get a crack at a coachless Texas A&M squad in the Belk Bowl in Charlotte on Dec. 29. Wolford, who threw for 25 touchdowns and ran for 10 more, led the Deacs to their highest-scoring season (404 points).

X Xavier Griffin. The North Carolina A&T receiver made the most of his chances before an injury cut his season short in October. Three of his four catches on the season went for touchdowns. The unbeaten Aggies (11-0) kick off the bowl season with 11-1 Grambling State on Saturday in the Celebration Bowl in Atlanta.

Y Yards. Nobody ran for more than San Diego State running back Rashaad Penny (2,027). He also leads the NCAA with 168.9 yards per game. The Aztecs take on Army in the Armed Forces Bowl on Dec. 23.

Z Zaccheaus, Olamide. Virginia’s first bowl appearance since 2011 was anchored by the junior receiver, who caught 80 passes for 833 yards. The Wahoos take on Navy in the Military Bowl on Dec. 28.

This story was originally published December 13, 2017 at 12:10 PM with the headline "Bowl season from Allen (Josh) to Zaccheaus (Olamide): Enjoy the (mostly) meaningless pigskin merriment."