HB2 etiquette guide: Understanding the language of LGBT

If the topic of North Carolina’s controversial House Bill 2 has had you fumbling for appropriate terminology in social situations, fear no more. Here is your etiquette guide to talking about transgender issues.

There are an estimated 700,000 transgender people living in the United States. Here are some common words and phrases, along with answers to typical but sometimes awkward questions.

Terms to know

Most of these definitions are based on the GLAAD website’s guidelines.

Transgender: a person whose gender identity and/or gender expression differs from what is typically associated with the sex they were assigned at birth

Transgender man: a person who was assigned female sex at birth, but who identifies and lives as a man

Transgender woman: a person who was assigned male sex at birth, but identifies and lives as a woman

Gender identity: one’s internal, deeply held sense of gender (for transgender people, their gender identity doesn’t match the sex they were assigned at birth).

Gender expression: how a person identifies with characteristics and behaviors that can be viewed as masculine, feminine, a mix of both or neither.

Sex: the classification of people as male or female; assigned at birth based on anatomy

“I think that a lot of people tend to assume that we want to be a part of the gender binary, and that’s just not the case,” said Danielle Castro, a transgender woman and project director of the University of California - San Franciso’s Center of Excellence for Transgender Health, in an interview. “Not everyone who’s trans identified wants to fit in that binary. For people that don’t identify as male or female, that creates an erasure and creates ignorance.”

Transsexual: Many transgender people do not prefer this term. An older, more medically-based term; unlike transgender, this adjective is not an umbrella term and generally refers to people who have changed or seek to change their bodies through hormones, surgery or any other medical procedure.

Generally, transgender and transsexual are used as adjectives, rather than stand-alone nouns.

Cisgender: a person whose gender identity corresponds with the sex the person had or was identified as having at birth (according to Merriam-Webster)

Genderqueer: a person whose gender identity cannot be categorized as solely male or female; this term is not a synonym for transgender (according to Merriam-Webster)

“What everybody thinks they know is that transgender people were born with the brains and minds and souls of the other gender and that implies that there is such thing as brains, souls, minds of the other gender,” said J. Michael Bailey, professor of psychology at Northwestern University. “And that assumption is kind of simplistic because while there are differences between men and women, boys and girls, most of the differences are not complete.”

Gender non-conforming: a person whose gender expression is different from conventional expressions of masculinity and femininity; this is not a synonym for transgender

A person’s sexual orientation and their gender identity are easily confused but in reality are two very different terms that have no bearing on the other:

Sexual orientation: who you are sexually attracted to

Gender identity: who you are

Questions you probably have, but are worried about asking

Public bathrooms

Restrooms present a unique situation, but experts have not found evidence of additional danger. Experts across the country agree that some groups’ proposed sexual assault problem arising from allowing transgender people to use their preferred bathroom is in reality not a likely issue at all.

“I think it’s only a very vocal minority that is really perpetrating these notions that trans people are ‘predators,’” said Steven Petrow, civilities columnist for the Washington Post.

Pronouns

Pronouns can be a bit nerve-wracking for people worried about offending a transgender person. If assumptions are incorrectly made, they can create an uncomfortable situation for everyone.

According to GLAAD, the best way to go about addressing a transgender person is according to whatever the transgender person uses.

— Use their chosen name (whether legally changed or not)

— Listen first; see what others who know the person use

— Whenever possible, don’t be wary of asking about what pronouns they would like you to use. Some people might prefer “they” to “he” or “she.”

— If you can’t ask, use pronouns consistent with the person’s appearance, gender expression and name

Why should we care?

Many transgender people face difficulties getting jobs and houses. In addition to facing discrimination, transgender people are four times as likely to live in extreme poverty according to the 2011 National Transgender Discrimination Survey.

For young transgender people, embracing their gender identity can mean rejection from their families, which often times means they are left without anywhere to go -- transgender people are three times more likely to homelessness, according to NTDS.

Many transgender people are susceptible to mental health illnesses and depression. Many feel apprehensive about visiting the doctor for even routine check-ups.

Forty-one percent of NTDS survey respondents reported attempting suicide, a drastically high number compared with the 1.6 percent of the general population. For transgender people ages 18-24, the rate of attempted suicide is one of the highest, at 45 percent, according to the Williams Institute and American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. For one San Francisco-based suicide hotline that helps transgender people, its calls have doubled since North Carolina passed House Bill 2.

Transgender people face some of the highest rates of hate violence and murder in the country, according to the New York City Anti-Violence Project.

This story was originally published April 22, 2016 at 7:24 PM with the headline "HB2 etiquette guide: Understanding the language of LGBT."