We pick up on Night 2 of “Bachelor in Paradise” with our former Miss NC USA, Caelynn Miller-Keyes, officially “sick of Blake,” the guy who has romanced half the cast and he’s gunning for the rest.
If you missed Night 1 (recap here), you missed that Caelynn (from the Colton Season of “The Bachelor”) and Blake Horstmann (from the Becca Season of “Bachelorette”) hooked up at the Stagecoach music festival this spring — the night after he slept with Kristina (from the Nick Season of “Bachelor”). Blake told Caelynn that sleeping with her was a “mistake” and asked her not to tell anyone.
Meanwhile, in Paradise, he hasn’t even spoken to Caelynn, but has flirted with Hannah G. and gone on a date with Tayshia. When Episode 1 ended, Kristina had just arrived in Paradise with a date card, and was about to take Blake out.
There was a lot of crying by Caelynn in Monday’s show, but at least at the start of Tuesday’s episode, she had moved into “mad” mode, as she spread the word about what a dirtbag Blake is to all the women, one by one.
“I’m sick of him,” she told Sydney. Caelynn complained that Blake is acting like “the king of Paradise” out there “dating and living it up” and ignoring her.
Sydney tells Caelynn that she thinks Blake’s behavior is “icky” and Caelynn adds, “He makes my skin crawl.”
Blake’s date with Kristina
On their date, Kristina confronts Blake about how he slept with Caelynn the night after sleeping with her. Blake downplays his “relationship” with Kristina, telling the camera that they were just friends, and he downplays the fling with Caelynn, telling Kristina that they both woke up the next morning and agreed it was a mistake and that they should just be friends.
Then Blake actually gets mad at Kristina for bringing all this up because it’s kinda ruining his good time in Paradise. Blake tells her that asking him about what happened is “ambushing” him. At one point she tries to say something to him and he puts his hand up to shush her, telling her he doesn’t want to talk anymore.
Blake calls the date “a total nightmare” because “she wanted to ruin my paradise.”
Caelynn confronts Blake
Caelynn is feeling super insecure, but she gets a pep talk from Onyeka, who tells her she’s an “outstanding human being.”
Caelynn decides to confront Blake when he returns from his date. She’s tired of him treating her like she meant nothing. He tries to be charming at first, with the “oh hey, I haven’t had a chance to talk to you” — like he has really wanted to, but he’s been so busy throwing footballs and chasing women, he hasn’t had time to say “hello.”
Here’s how it starts.
Caelynn: “I feel really disrespected.”
Blake: “By who?”
I’M NOT KIDDING.
Caelynn used the word “gaslighting” earlier and she’s dead-on. She’s in full-on breakdown mode, crying and screaming at him about how terrible he has made her feel. He keeps telling her he is “so sorry” and says he “didn’t know she felt this way.” He is either a very good actor or he is the most shocked human being on the planet.
In response to Blake’s shock, Caelynn said: “How did you think this would go? Being called a ‘mistake’ is not ...”
Blake tells her if he said that, it’s terrible. If he said it. Caelynn storms off with Blake begging her to stay and talk. Blake covers his face with his shirt and says over and over that he’s sorry.
Onyeka comforts Caelynn, and tells the camera that she thinks Blake is a “player” and a “smooth talker” and that it makes her sad that women are getting played by him.
Here’s the thing: Whatever Caelynn thought about the hookup with Blake, Blake can’t act like he legitimately thought things were cool with Caelynn because he literally ran and hid from her when she arrived at Paradise on the first night. That man is guilty. I rest my case.
Demi proclaims Blake ‘shady’
Demi (God love her) is doing the math on all the women Blake has either slept with or is trying to sleep with, and she proclaims him a “loser” and uses the words “love pentagon” (thank you!) to describe his situation. She also describes Blake has having a “six-burner stove.”
She said she feels bad for Caelynn because she doesn’t deserve to be treated that way.
“Blake has had sex with like everyone on this beach already, maybe Chris Harrison!” Demi said. “I’m not mad at him for trying to date other people, but it’s the fact that he’s lying about things and hiding things and telling people, ‘Oh, let’s keep this a secret’ and acting like he’s not doing anything wrong — that’s just kinda shady to me.”
Blake starts his damage control with the other dudes, using language like “I guess” and “It looks like” in describing what he did. He mostly just seems worried that he “looks” bad and that he can’t figure out a way to fix it. He says he feels awful but you get the feeling he’s just super bummed that his time as King of Paradise was so short-lived.
And he has reason to worry, because Kristina tells Tayshia (Blake’s current Paradise squeeze) about everything that happened and she’s over him, too.
“He’s the definition of a player,” Tayshia says. “Blake just lost me. ... He just needs to go.”
And no matter how much Caelynn cried in this episode, Blake cried just as much. (Blake later offers Caelynn an apology and Caelynn tells him she’s over it and “let’s just move on.” He does move on — stealing Hannah G. from poor Dylan.)
The scramble for a rose
The men hold the power in the first round of roses, and they’ll hand out the roses on Monday’s show. But there are more women than men so that means three women will go home that night. (The power then shifts and the women hand out roses.)
Caelynn has so far not made a connection with anyone, so she has to make a move at the cocktail party in Tuesday’s episode. And ... well ... that was not the move we wanted Caelynn to make. Cam? But you know, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do to stick around for another week.
What to watch for next week: The Wisdom of Demi.
Anyone who watched the Colton Season of “The Bachelor” will be shocked at the big Demi transformation (and we’re not even talking about the big transformation that has already been in all the entertainment news). Demi has suddenly become the voice of reason and the reliable narrator of the show that we all need. Truly hoping this continues. All hail our queen, Demi.
Also next week, we see Big Mike from Hannah Brown’s season of “The Bachelorette” hitting the beach (and was he kissing Caelynn?). Mike is rumored to be a contender for next season’s “Bachelor,” but we’ll see how it goes.
The show is back on Monday.
Watch: “Bachelor in Paradise” airs at 8 p.m. on Mondays and Tuesdays this summer on ABC.
Some background on Caelynn
Caelynn was the 2018 Miss North Carolina USA and also the 1st Runner-Up in the Miss USA pageant. She grew up in Fredericksburg, Va., but moved to Asheville to compete for the Miss NC USA title. When Caelynn appeared on last season’s “The Bachelor” (aka The Colton Season), Caelynn was listed as living in Charlotte.
Caelynn had an eventful time on “The Bachelor,” clashing hard with Hannah Brown, the former Miss Alabama USA who went on to become the most recent “Bachelorette.”
Go here to read all of our coverage of Caelynn on “The Bachelor” (bios, recaps, all that good stuff).
Previous ‘Bachelor in Paradise’ coverage
It should be noted that Raleigh’s Jenna Cooper was on Season 22 of “The Bachelor” and then made the jump to “Bachelor in Paradise” last summer. She got engaged, and then all that fell apart very quickly and in dramatic fashion.